If there’s one session I was completely required to take, it’s this one! I have trouble balancing work and home life. Something always gets pushed aside. Lately, it’s been my poor family. They’ve suffered through finishing college, launching a new business and my personal obsession with social media. This is a live blog, which means it’s completely unedited. I’m simply taking notes through the session.
Speakers:
Christine Koh, @bostonmamas
Deb Rox, @debontherocks
Megan Jordan, @velveteenmind
Carmen Stacier, @mttsm
How has balance come to you? (Speaker Stories)
Deb: “I’ve burnt out of a lot of careers because I didn’t have a real balance.”
Megan: What matters will be there, when you come back. “I’m willing to lose if it means I can play by my own rules.” Sometimes that means not worrying about missing opportunities, not getting to take the trips, not being on the Top 50 Mom Blogger lists. Do the things that are important to you, and let the rest go.
Carmen: Stop comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides. “Maybe I don’t make everybody else’s Top 50 lists, but I make my kids’ lists.”
Christine: “Remember. Opportunity can be dangerous. It’s not always the right thing.” Every path brings you to the next, even if you turn things down. There’s a real feeling of needing to always be connected so you don’t miss anything, but it’s okay if you do.
After sharing their initial stories, the panel deferred the rest of the discussion to the audience Q&A. I didn’t always catch the questions, but I tried to jot relevant info out of the responses.
Megan: “I have ‘just a seconded’ my kids out of an entire day.” Social media is fast paced and competitive, but you don’t have to do it all.
Christine: If you are feeling anxious, figure out why. If it’s simply because you are worried about missing something, it might not be the right thing. Go with the things that you want to do because you want to do it, not because you want a gold star.
Deb: We want to be present but we aren’t taking a role in making it happen. “If you’re passive, if you wait, the game will win.”
Megan: Focus on doing a few things really well, rather than doing everything halfway. “How about I just do my current projects really well?”
Deb: “If you do everything just to get the gold star, the first ones will be tarnished before you get the last. Do you really want everything if it means you have to clean it?”
Carmen: Saying yes to everything made everyone else happy except me. Don’t say yes—say, “Can I get back to you?” You aren’t liked because you say yes; you’re liked because of who you are.
Megan: “By not asking for help, you’re depriving others of an opportunity.” Asking for help isn’t showing a weakness.
Carmen: Your way isn’t always the right way. Don’t deprive your family of the opportunity to find their own way.
On scheduling specific blocks of time: Christine carves out time during the school day. When it’s time for one thing, shut everything else off.
“You can have it all, just not at the same time.”
Deb: It’s not just that you can’t do everything yourself; it’s that you don’t have to. There are others with expertise you can tap into.