Today is my dad’s 60th birthday. I’m feeling a little guilty because we threw our mom an epic 60th birthday bash last month. All I’ve got for Dad is the annual phone call and “my dad is awesome” Facebook post. 

But, he really is awesome, and I wanted to do a little something more for such a milestone birthday. I’m a writer, which he sometimes thinks is kinda cool, so here is a birthday listicle for Dad: 60 reasons my dad is cooler than yours:

1. He insisted we didn’t need to include him in Mom’s birthday party because he wanted the night to be all about her. 
2. He still asks me if I need gas money when we travel to visit them. 
3. He plays ball outside with his grandkids, even though he’s usually sore for days afterwards. 
4. Two words: kickball video. 
5. He is never afraid to apologize. I definitely did not get that particular personality flaw from my dad. 
6. He is still completely in love with my mom — his high school sweetheart. Sometimes it’s gross.
7. He really did drill us with table manners and etiquette but mostly just laughs when it turns out the lessons didn’t stick. 
8. He took me to lunch after I got engaged to express his concern, but he has zero problem admitting how wrong he was and embracing my husband as one of his own. 
9. He once introduced himself to my neighbor as “Spencer’s dad.” That’s how much my husband has become part of his family.
10. He is such a huge Colts fan that my mom painted the living room blue and decorated it with fan gear.
11. When Peyton left the team, he was sad but refused to become a Denver fan. Broncos decor is not allowed in the Colts room. 
12. He later bought my mom an orange Manning jersey even though he thought it was ridiculous.
13. Family legend tells of the one Scrabble game my dad lost (very loudly) at 3am. He still contends his best friend cheated.
14. He also doesn’t often lose at Words with Friends. 
15. He taught me to play euchre when I was 13 so I wouldn’t be left out on the marching band bus. That game is basically how I made friends in college. It’s a marketable skill in Indiana. 
16. When anyone complains about my driving, he is quick to my defense and swears I drive exactly how I was taught. By him. 
17. After he spent a month trying to teach me to drive the stick shift he accidentally bought, he sold it and bought a replacement without a word.
18. And laughed when he found out Spencer later taught me in a single evening on one of our early dates. 
19. After a series of not-a-dates with a guy friend of mine, my dad told me it’s never a date without a kiss goodnight. I hold my husband to that definition to this very day.
20. He doesn’t talk much, but when he does, it’s powerful and meaningful. 
21. He’s on Facebook nearly everyday but hardly ever posts. 
22. When he does, it’s novel length. 
23. And always grammatically correct. 
24. His laugh is infectious. It’s a good thing we all inherited his sense of humor so we can hear it often. 
25. Family is the most important thing in his life. It’s an amazing feeling to know you’re the center of someone’s world. 
26. If you’re his, you’re his for life. 
27. He’s the decider. Mostly, he doesn’t care what we do, where we choose to go, or who makes the decisions. But when there’s a conflict, he will put his foot down, and all decisions are final. 
28. He never goes to bed without goodnight kisses for everyone. If we’re at his house at bedtime, there are kisses all around. 
29. No one laughs harder than my dad at Pixar movies. I’ve also never seen anyone cry as much. Both are equally amazing. 
30. He absolutely hates cats, but their home hasn’t been without one since I got my first. 
31. He has a smartphone he can barely use, but he will talk to text like nobody’s business. 
32. I grew up with a solid moviecation because there is nothing my dad won’t watch. 
33. He has seen Notting Hill dozens of times but never all the way through. 
34. He and Spencer once bought each other the DVD for Christmas after a year of that joke. We have still never watched Notting Hill.  
35. “That’s what she said.” should probably be a little creepy from someone his age, but it’s not. It’s hilarious. 
36. He was always the loudest parent in the stands shouting encouragement, coaching, and instructions. My sister tells me this is less cool when you are a cheerleader and Dad is leading the cheer block. 
37. Free watermelons and cantaloupes are a major job perk, but if you ask for “a few,” empty your car because you’re getting at least twelve. 
38. Dad has the largest penny collection I’ve ever seen because he is convinced they will be deminted in his lifetime and worth something. 
39. He actually collects a lot of change just from emptying his pockets at night and was not even a little surprised at how quickly his quarters added up when I moved out. 
40. He’s got all the corny dad jokes because he’s such a mushroom. He really is a fungi. Just ask him. 
41. He doesn’t always understand the issues we face with adoption, celiac disease, or depression, but he reads every article I send him in an effort to learn more. 
42. He’s really hard to shop for because he legitimately does not comprehend why someone would want to buy him gifts. 
43. Whatever he’s playing, he gives it his all. Some may call that “too competitive.” I call it having a dad who was cool enough to teach me to play for keeps. 
44. I always joke that I’ve been disappointing my father since that time I was born without a penis, but he really did an amazing job raising three strong, independent women. 
45. He once requested a stocked toolbox for Christmas, for “all the people who fix things at [his] house.”
46. He and his siblings took over caring for their dad when my grandma died. Without thought, without complaint, my dad is there whenever he needs to be. 
47. He never goes back on his word. 
48. When I jokingly reminded him of a bet we made in high school over straight As for a television I never got, he bought me a new tv. Even though I was married with children at the time. 
49. My mom cooked dinner six nights a week; Dad was in charge of Sundays. He became an expert at bacon or fried bologna sandwiches. 
50. He also made a mean microwaved cheese and mustard sandwich when he was in charge of packing lunches. Mom didn’t let him pack lunches all that often. 
51. He also rocks out anything covered in Velveeta. Nothing beats his cheesy potatoes or mac & cheese. 
52. From dancing on his toes to goofy moves with the teens, my dad has seriously sweet dance moves. 
53. He leaves all birthday and Christmas shopping up to Mom, but he came up with our “Thanksgiving present” all on his own to support our Black Friday shopping experience. 
54. He reads almost all the same books as his kids, even when they’re about sparkly, teenage vampires. 
55. No matter now busy his life is, he always makes time for his kids — even when that meant coaching first base with a cell phone in hand. 
56. I was actually taught English as a second language; I am most fluent in the sarcasm learned at my father’s knee. 
57. He taught me from a very early age never to give up. That hallway must have looked real long to a one-year-old, but Dad stood me right back up at the end every time I fell down, until I finally learned to walk. 
58. I work harder than necessary to make him proud, but only because I know he truly believes I can do anything, and I want so badly for him to be right.
59. He is in charge of the remote at all times, unless his grandkids are around. They get to watch whatever they want all day. 
60. He is probably crying right now because even though we don’t say it often enough, he knows how very much he is loved. 

2 Responses to “60 Reasons My Dad Is the Best”

1. 

   Aunt Sharon on August 07, 2015 @11:10PM

   Awesome Hesther! You are on target with all points; I enjoyed reading.
2. 

   "Aunt" Pa-La-La Lechner on August 08, 2015 @4:50AM

   Heather, you guys did an excellent job! I don’t know about your Dad,but I was sure crying! I would love to add the radish races, I Love that story! I know that your Dad is Very Proud of this Beautiful gift. Love you all!