My birthday is coming up soon! I love birthdays. How else would I get a special holiday all about me? This year, though, I’m feeling a little weird. Not sad, not really even nostalgic, just thoughtful. I will officially turn almost-30. Right now, at 27, I still picture myself close to 25, but next Saturday puts me over the hump and closer to 30.

For some reason 30 is the magic number for women to freak out about where they are in their life. I’m looking back on my life—at the decisions I’ve made—and just thinking. There are so many things that I struggled with at the time and thought I would someday regret. Oddly, I don’t.

I’m no where near where I thought I’d be at this time in my life, but that’s not a bad thing. I love my husband, my children, and the opportunity to care for them as my main occupation. I love my job. I love my life. It’s just not ever what I pictured.

Do I miss the big city condo I thought I’d have? Not really. I like my small-town house. Do I miss the career in architecture I planned and worked towards? Nope. I love being Brownie leader, PTO mom, and toddler-toter for my kids. Do I miss the SUV I always planned to drive and haul my blueprints? Okay, so that one I miss. I’d love to have something larger than my mid-size sedan, only now it would haul soccer equipment, food for school parties and sick friends, totes full of craft supplies for Brownies, and plenty of kids.

And that’s exactly what I want to fill my life.