Just Heather

I loved Lauren’s game (if you knew me in real life, what do you think you would know?), but since I have something like two readers I didn’t quite think I could pull it off. Instead, I decide to play True Confession a la genuine:

  1. I actually love the days when I don’t get anything done because little one insists on being held all day.
  2. If you ask me to bring snacks, I will never say no.
  3. I take a nap at least twice a week.
  4. If you say 69—in any context—I will giggle uncontrollably.
  5. If you think I don’t like you, you’re probably right.
  6. I didn’t forget what you asked me to buy; it just wasn’t on sale.
  7. We have enough food in this house to last at least 2 months; I will go shopping anyway.
  8. I am fashion illiterate.
  9. Sometimes, when I call “not it” as hubby gets home, I really did know she was dirty before he walked in the door.
  10. I do, in fact, think my kid is smarter than your kid.

Okay, guys… here’s a pop quiz for you. You and your wife have a “discussion” that ends with you falling asleep as you ignore her question, waking up, and heading straight to bed alone. Do you:

a.) wake up the next morning and pretend it never happened.
b.) wake up the next morning and storm out of the house.
c.) upon entering your bedroom realize that was a stupid thing to do, return downstairs and appologize.
d.) wake up the next morning and apologize immediately for being an ass.

If you answered c or d, you would be correct. Naturally, the immediate realization of your stupidity would be preferable but an early morning response would be appropriate and probably followed by make-up sex.

Okay, so you failed the first quiz. When you return home from work do you:

a.) continue to pretend it never happened.
b.) ignore your wife altogether.
c.) kiss your wife; everything is fine because you called her mid-morning just to say I love you.
d.) enter the house after work carrying roses and a big I’m sorry.

Again, C or D would be an appropriate response. Once again, the early make-up would be best and would probably have been followed by an invitation to come home for “lunch.”

Enough said.

The Tooth Fairy almost completely missed our house last night. When she finally did stumble into Stacia’s room this morning, she was apparently unable to locate the tooth since it had been moved to a different pillow (again). She did, however, leave a dollar anyway.

Conversation overheard during our nightly bedtime struggle:

Hubby: That doesn’t sound like brushing your teeth.

Daughter: I’M POTTYING!

Hubby: Then why are you singing?

Daughter: You can sing on the potty if you want to.

Part 1: Never start two separate stacks of coupons you plan to use at the store. You will inevitably forget to take one stack with you and miss out on the free cans of chili you use in the dip your family loves so much.

Part 2: Never shop on the last day of the sale, especially at night. This does not give you enough time to send said coupons with your dear husband to collect the free chili.