Just Heather

The free summer film festival starts at our local theater in less than 2 weeks.  I’ve already gone over the list with the girls, allowing them to choose which of the 2 movies we’ll see each week.  Sure, we could see both but Wednesday is Water Day so a 2nd movie is only our rainy day backup.  Sometimes, they pick the same movie; sometimes, they pick separately.  That’s fine now that Stacia is older.  At eleven, she’s nearly babysitting age (which she reminds me constantly) so she’s perfectly capable of watching a movie in the theater next to mine.n506119855_1100465_5097

It appears they’ve picked several books turned movies this year. That means I have a lot of reading to do. I’m kind of obsessive about reading the book first, even when it’s ordinarily an author I wouldn’t choose. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, really, because it tends to make me hate the movie. Since I could never really hate anything that features Will Smith, I have learned to view them as separate entities. That helps a lot, as does lowering your expectations. If you go in expecting to see a beloved book come to life, you are bound to be disappointed. However, if you go in expecting to find a director has ruined your favorite story you may just be pleasantly surprised.

Still, a trip to the library is in order, and soon. I’m worried I’ve left it too late to snag copies, if they have any popularity at all. I have only 2 weeks to read Inkheart before the free showing, but over a month to finish Nim’s Island in time to watch with the girls. I may insist on a family reading of Charlotte’s Web before the kids see the movie again, but I have read it more than once. I guess I better get busy, even as I hope to talk them into a few selectionsthat don’t require homework.

5995377I love food. I love musicals. I love pirates, a fact which everyone in hubby’s family now knows (thank you, Jagermeister). All of this adds up to the Beef and Boards production of Treasure Island being tailor made for me. It was always our intention to visit this local dinner theater as part of our Alphabet Dating journey, even before I discovered they were featuring pirates through the spring.

We had plenty of letter choices—dinner theater, play, musical—but when I won tickets last month it was obvious we would be using the alliteration for our B date.  I was very excited.  Him? Probably not so much.  Musicals aren’t really his thing, especially when he has to dress for the event.  I, personally, couldn’t wait to get dressed up, have dinner with my husband and catch a show. About pirates.

Then the weekend arrived and brought one of our biggest fights yet.  The night was rocky, the next day tough and I didn’t think we’d last to the evening much less feel up to a date.  We hashed through a lot over the course of the day and finally got to a pretty good spot.  It’s been one step forward, two steps back since we began the rehabilitation journey.  We’ve been on our current path for a month now so this time I’m convinced we’ve made lasting progress.

Anyway, the evening arrive and we were still married; I got all decked out (he told me I was beautiful—bonus points), he suited up (yum!), the babysitters arrived (Thanks, Mimi & Papaw!) and we set sail (ha—get it?) for our musical adventure.  I knew very little of what to expect, though I’ve been wanting to visit the place for years.  My parents and extended family all love Beef and Boards but that was the extent of my knowledge.  I didn’t even have real tickets, just an email telling me the show was at 8pm and the hostess had our reservation.

We arrived at 7:30 feeling pretty good about our promptness only to discover that the show starts at 8, yes, but the dinner buffet is 6-7:30.  Oops.  They were gracious to us and the waiter brought us each a plate anyway.  I couldn’t eat most of mine, due to my gluten intolerance, but I picked through what I could (off both plates, of course).  Turns out, the food wasn’t worth an extra hour of our time anyway. We did enjoy our intermission sundae but even that seemed to be nothing more than ice cream from a bucket with Hershey’s syrup.

The show, however, was well worth the price of admission even if it hadn’t been free. The production was fun.  The all male cast was a hoot.  The songs were lively and fun.  I loved that the stage direction kept putting pieces of the show right in front our table.  My one disappointment was that the gift shop was closed after the show.   I wanted a pirate flag, but it’s probably just as well that I didn’t add to our junk collection.  I’ll scrapbook the playbill instead along with the single, slightly blurry picture above.

The “rules” of Alphabet Dating specifically exclude movies because the point is to create experiences and reconnect.  That really requires something other than sitting next to one another in the dark.  It’s my game, though, so I make things up as we go. Still, the lighting and seating arrangement made the play acceptable for our purposes, I think.  We were able to cozy up together to enjoy the show and each another.

Here’s to 24 more letters (plus a lifetime) of enjoying one another.

pirates

The Middle of Nowhere

The Middle of Nowhere

This past weekend I took my oldest daughter’s Girl Scout troop camping. I drove 2 hours to the middle of nowhere leaving my wonderful hubby alone with two kids, one of whom puked as I was walking out the door. Then I proceeded to spend 2 rainy, sometimes cold, days sleeping on the ground. When I come home tired, sore and smelly I want to say I’m too old for this shit but I know I’ll be doing it for years to come.

PreTeen Angst at Bay

PreTeen Angst at Bay

There is something about the camping weekend that brings out the best in Stacia. She’s affectionate, cooperative and barely even embarrassed when I dance the Hoedown Throwdown with her friends. Maybe it’s having me all to herself. Maybe it’s knowing her friends wouldn’t have these experiences if I weren’t willing to volunteer. Or maybe it’s just the way I let loose myself when we camp.

Trying Something New

Trying Something New

I am not an outdoor person. At all. I hate every part of it—the mud, the bugs, the air, the creepy crawlies, the wildlife. I want no part of it most days, but I love Scout camp! I love the goofy songs, the campfire cooking and the new shared experiences (my girl is quite the archer!). I love the friendships—those camp friendships that seem so intense for the week or weekend you’re camping, but who you’ll probably never see again.

I remember all of that from my own Girl Scout years and it is so fun to watch it all over again through my daughter’s eyes. Some things just never change, but on these camping weekends I do. I’m a different person—romping in the wilderness, stomping through the mud, sleeping on the ground, singing silly songs and feeling those same fleetingly intense connections with my fellow camp parents as the girls in my troop.

Campfire Cooking

Campfire Cooking

I hope some of it is lasting. I hope my daughter always knows that I’m the mom who will sleep outside in a thunderstorm, cook over a fire in the rain and take her friends on a journey when she’d ordinarily rather be anywhere else. I hope the girls in my troop always know I’m someone they can count on and see that I really am in it all for them. I hope someday they remember that while the camp cleared out in the rain (1400 people down to 200 by nightfall), their leader stuck with them.

A Calm, Relaxed Me

A Calm, Relaxed Me

Part of me wanted to leave in the torrential downpour, but my competitive nature prevailed and I wanted desperately to “beat” the other troops that surrendered to the storm. Plus, I left it up to my troop; they decided since we survived the first night, we should stay the rest.  We did survive and I’m so proud of the girls. They weren’t scared at all even when the thunder and lightening started at 2am. They were cool and calm, just enjoying one another and having a great time. And so was I. I need to remember to bring some of that home with me.

The latrines, mud and zero cell phone reception can stay, but I hope I brought a little bit of the carefree me back home.

This week’s Wordless Wednesday post is inspired by the school carnival, featuring a rousing game of Extreme Cabbage.

The original Alphabet Dating project fizzled out last fall. After a phenomenally rough holiday season, Spencer and I decided to give it another try. When my brother and his wife gave us Pacer tickets for Christmas, coupled with an evening of free babysitting, we had the perfect opportunity to start again. Armed with Restaurant.com certificates for Blue Crew, we were prepared for an evening of athletics. A sports themed date is perfect for us. I love basketball; he loves the Colts.

View from Our Baseline Seats

View from Our Baseline Seats

It was a decent game, and I really enjoyed the baseline seats. We’ve been to several games over the years, but this was my first opportunity to have noisemakers behind the goal. I was stupidly excited about it! After the game, we headed out for appetizers at the Blue Crew. When we arrived at 10:05pm, though, we were told the kitchen closed at 10. Having missed dinner, we were hungry but I was determined to keep with the A-themed evening.

Majors Sports Cafe

Majors Sports Cafe

The next thing to pop in my mind was a sports cafe run by a friend of mine. Majors Sports Cafe has 47 television screens around the restaurant and a unique, eclectic menu including buffalo meatloaf! We enjoyed our dinner and conversation while we I kept an eye on hockey, soccer, a Peyton Manning documentary and an XBox competition—definitely more sports than even I was anticipating.

not from our baseline seats

Game 2: Club Level

We actually had the opportunity to revisit the Pacers (for free, I might add) before we got around to the next letter in our dating journey. That was a serendipitous evening with an even more serendipitous meeting. We bumped into our high school best friends as we were walking to the club level. Clearly the beginning of our new Alphabet Dating experience was steak sauce. Because that also starts with an A.

A Wordless Wednesday post for Spencer’s grandpa, because the love in a great grandpa’s eyes will convey the extent of our loss more than a thousand words:

7/8/1941-5/9/2009

7/8/1941-5/9/2009

Great Grandpa and Stacia

Stacia, 1998


Great Grandpa and Brenia

Brenia, 2002


Great Grandpa and Lorelai

Lorelai, 2005

School is out in just 3 short weeks. After that it will be me vs. 3 (maybe 4 and sometimes 5) kids. There will be no panic. There will be no fear. I have a plan! Because I learned that lesson years ago.

My first summer home with 2 kids was pretty much a disaster. Stacia had gotten used to the structure at school. Brenia and I had gotten into our own routine. The two didn’t mesh and, thus, chaos ensued. I tried different tactics week after week, summer after summer, until I finally figured it out. We needed a schedule in the summer just like we had through the school year.

Our yearly calendar is made up of school holidays, Girl Scouts, dance lessons, choir rehearsal and a number of other after school activities. We know that Tuesday is Scout day, Thursday is dance class and Friday is gym. The girls anticipate what is coming and respond accordingly.

All of those activities end around the same time that school does. It seems like it should be a relaxing summer, what with not having 3 places to be every day. Instead our summers were chaotic, with the 3 of us running around not knowing what to do or what was coming next. There was no time for the girls to prepare for each day because we had no idea where we would end up. There was nothing but instant reaction, often as a tantrum.

Starting with the Thursday park playdate that my church group had arranged, I landed on a summer schedule that works for us. It includes fun things to do, time to finish chores and a plan for each day. I think I’ve finally struck the right balance between enjoying a relaxed summer vacation and maintaining the structure my girls thrive on.

If you’re looking for ideas on free activities, check out my website. If you really want to know how my days will go all summer, read my ehow article on the subject.

When I was a child, I took dance and tumbling lessons for many years. In 3rd grade, I wanted to be a ballerina. In 5th grade, my Arts & Humanities Fair project was Ballet. In 7th grade, my dance studio was sold and the new owner/teacher walked in on our first day of classes, sight unseen and took us off pointe. I never went back.

For the last several years, I have been saying I should take a dance class. I loved it and need a fun way to exercise so I can lose the last few pounds for 40×40“>#4. Over the summer in 2008, I had finally decided to do it. My friend and I were planning to take a Friday night adult dance class at our daughter’s studio. Two weeks before it was to start, they canceled it for lack of interest. There goes crossing #1 off the 40×40 list.

God is funny, though, and always seems to know exactly how to get me on the right path. The very next weekend, my church celebrated the grand opening of its new worship auditorium with a huge kickoff service. The choir was there, of course, along with an actual marching drum corps (did I mention I love my church?). Then came the dancers! They looked so happy and serene. I just kept thinking, “I want that!”

When I left the service, I lingered a bit in the village-style area outside. There were booths for various missions, the upcoming women’s ministry and—ta-da—the dance ministry team. I signed up and started a week later. The ministry runs as a (free) weekly dance workshop. Each month, we study a different style of dance. The first week of each month, we are joined by guest choreographer who teaches a crash course in whatever we are planning to study. It’s basically a 6-week advanced workshop in 2 hours.

This is when I realized that while the ministry was open, I was the only person there who was not actually a professional dancer! I have spent the last 6 months making a total fool of myself—and having an absolute blast—trying out modern dance, lyrical, jazz, ballet and even tap & Irish step dancing. We are now taking a break until September. I will miss the dance and the exercise, but just when I was realizing that my Wednesdays would be free for the foreseeable future I got an email from church about the new women’s series that starts tonight:

Search for Significance Workshop — taking a look at our worth through God’s eyes and finding freedom from the pressure to perform and/or gain others approval.

Those who know me personally will see this course was designed for me. God knows exactly what he’s doing.