Spencer and I celebrated our 11th anniversary with a trip down memory lane. We visited old haunts and enjoyed an entire weekend of fun from our dating days. The actual date of our anniversary was spent at Cedar Point and included lunch at the Weenee Hut (Be sure to use a condiment!).
11 Years and counting
) and helped the owner transport everything she needed or priced things for the charity yard sale. Then, I organized a school supply drive because the yard sale didn’t net enough for the 35 kids she has now (5 times more than last year). I bought backpacks for each kid, collected supplies all over town and obtained Mom sponsors so each child could have a new outfit & shoes. I am so pleased to say we met with great success-each child had absolutely everything they need.I am a stay at home mom, in large part, because I saw the benefits as the daughter of a stay at home mom. I appreciate that my mom was there for field trips (even when I didn’t want her to be at the time), class parties and carpools. She was my Girl Scout leader. She was a band booster. She was the Friend Mom. It was our house that my friends congregated. It was my parents they called Mom and Dad.
I want to be That Mom. I don’t care that it’s our food they eat. I don’t care that I am the one who drives them all over town. I like that. I know how much kids, even teens, are willing to say from the backseat that they would never tell you to your face. That is why I do what I do.
My favorite memory of parental involvement is from 1st grade. I came home in tears because the kids all played jump rope games on the playground and I just couldn’t do it. My mom went out and bought a jump rope which she proceeded to twirl with my dad on the other end night after night until I was a champ.
Tonight, my daughter told me a story about recess today, her 3rd day of 1st grade. “One person held a big rope and another person held the other side. Then I jumped, but I’m not very good at it.”
I guess I’ll hit Target tomorrow.
I have a problem accepting limits, especially my personal limits. I have gotten much better about saying “no” when I am asked to do things that don’t fit into my life. However, I still take on too much. The problem is that I really want to do each of the things I am doing now. It just isn’t physically possible, but which one goes?
Unfortunately, more recently it has been my marriage. Partly, because marriage is really hard work. I am tired. I am stretched thin. I am fresh out of the energy it takes to nurture a relationship. But it is also, partly, because I truly do know he’ll always love me anyway.
I’m trying to force myself out of the rut. I want to recapture the love that we shared, rather than continue to be roommates. We started this alphabet dating
The idea is to come up with something more creative for a date that dinner and a movie. The only rule is movies don’t count. It has to be something that allows us to connect, rather than sit side by side ignoring each other. We had a couple evenings out, sponsored by the letters A & B. Our first 2 dates were pretty much dinner and, uh, now what? (Quick—think of a dessert that starts with a B!) From now on, the dates will be planned in advance so I guess I just created a second rule. We make things up as we go along.
Next up is C (duh) and we’re trying something a little different. We need to squeeze in 2 dates before E since we have a full weekend planned for our anniversary over Labor Day. Baby-sitters are a bit hard to come by so we’re skipping that part for our next date of campfire & creamsicles. We have everything we need for a date in our own backyard. Now we just need the girls to go to bed on time for once and the weather to cooperate.
…one mess at a time.
So far today, we have used 5 dish towels on the floor:
That doesn’t even include the dry messes:
I think I need a nap.
I have recently found the Discovery channel Planet Green so I have a new love. My favorite show is Wa$ted. I thought we were doing so well, but I think Annabelle & Holter would still have a lot to say about our lifestyle. I know they would like that I have started taking Gladware to restaurants rather than bring home styrofoam. I know we are doing well with composting (but now I want one of these) and recycling.
I switched from paper napkins to cloth. I stopped using paper towels (well, except for greasy bacon) in favor of cheap bar mop towels (2 for $1 at Dollar Tree). We have been cloth diapering for 2 months now and it is going well. I can’t even let myself think of all the money and landfill space we wasted by not trying it sooner. If I were going to start all over, there are things I would do differently:
We are doing well with some things:
Today was the last day of school for my oldest daughter. Her last day of elementary school. I feel like I should be waxing nostalgic or something, but I mostly feel a strange mixture of relief and dread.
Relief that the year is finally over. It was not a fun end to her elementary experience. Let’s just say I really hope the rumors of her teacher’s impending retirement are true, for the sake of all future 4th graders. I’m temporarily relieved of twice daily carpool duties. The girls are attending a few day camps that require transportation, but that is only a week or two here and there. I’m also relieved of my PTO webmaster duties. Whew!
My calendar pen is finding a bit of relief this summer, but I do still try to keep the girls on a routine for sanity’s sake. They also have a few summer activities and camps, but not to the extent of our regular weekly jaunts.
The dread is on many levels. For the immediate future, I am dreading the fights, whining and tattling that comes from having more than one child. I’m dreading the heat and the outdoors. I’m just not an outdoor person, but the girls definitely are and some of them still require supervision.
As the summer wears on, I’ll be dreading the return to school. I’m uneasy about our decision to leave Stacia in the public school system. I think it was the best decision for us at the time, but I worry she’ll get lost in the shuffle and continue to struggle the way she did this year. Her school struggles are strictly a failure of the system. She’s a bright kid. She tests well. She reads profusely. She loves to learn. She’s just not great at assignments and deadlines. She was also bringing home a lot of homework for things she hadn’t yet learned. If I’m going to have to teach her math every day, I might as well homeschool.
Next year is a different school, albeit in the same system. I am hopeful that it will be a different story, but I am reserving judgment. If all else fails, I know I can pull her out at any time and send her to Brenia’s Montessori school. That has been a complete success story. She started kindergarten a year early and is ready to advance to 1st grade. Her teachers have some minor reservations about her social skills so we are trying an interim option. She’ll stay in her current classroom, but take academic lessons with the elementary class. They hope to fully transition her after winter break.
I still contend we made the right decision for her. She stands a head taller than 1st graders. She’s smart—too smart, sometimes. She was reading by her 5th birthday. She is a quick learner (I had to show her how to tie shoes only one time). She just wouldn’t have been well served by waiting until this fall.
My hope for the summer is that I can let go of all my concerns (at least for the summer), relax and enjoy my kids.
We have been making a concerted effort around here to “go green.” We have always recycled, but we wanted to do more. Last year we switched our light bulbs to CFL. Saving $10 per month on the electric bills was a nice bonus. In the past several months, I have found many other ways to “save the Earth” as Brenia says. I switched most of our cleaners to vinegar (glass cleaner, dishwasher rinse aid, fabric softener) and started making my own dishwasher detergent (borax and baking soda). Our compost experiment seems to be going well, which has us down to 2 bags of trash per week. One of those is practically all diapers so the overwhelming guilt of disposable diapering finally wore me down.
I’d been considering cloth for a couple months, but it was the math that finally did it for me. We spend about $15 per week on disposable diapers. In my research, I discovered that I could spend about 2 months diaper budget on a supply of cloth diapers that would last. We discussed, I researched and finally ordered a day’s supply last week. We made the official switch to cloth diapering over the weekend.
My mom just about flipped when I told her I was considering it, but I assured her that things are different now. I bought 3 pocket diapers by Bum Genius. I like these because I pre-stuff them when they come out of the laundry and they are basically like a disposable. You can also buy all-in-one diapers that come that way, but this was cheaper and it takes me about 30 seconds to stuff them myself while I do the laundry. I liked the Bum Genius because they are adjustable from newborn to toddler. I’m pretty sure we’re done, but they will last through another baby should I change my mind some day. Plus, they have a really high resell value so I’ll get most of my money back when I’m done.
I also bought about 10 pre-folds which are what people think of when they hear “cloth diapers.” You can’t just buy the Gerber ones at the store because they aren’t thick enough. Those are usually only 3-ply. I purchased 8-ply diapers. Then I got 2 Thirsties cloth diaper wraps, which look like a diaper with the Velcro on each side but have no absorbent material. They are just waterproof covers. You can reuse these throughout the day by rinsing if they get damp and air drying since they are waterproof. I bought 2 so I could switch out all day. I’ll use these primarily at home, saving the pocket diapers for when we are out and about since they are so easy to use.
I just ordered Snappi diaper fasteners-so much better and faster than pins for the cloth folds. They come in newborn and toddler sizes. I actually ordered those on eBay because they were so much cheaper. I purchased the diapers & wraps from Not Your Mama’s Cloth Diapers. Toasty Baby is another local seller I had looked into. Both offer in-home demonstrations, if you want a tutorial or would prefer to see everything before you decide what to buy.
The first couple of days, we switched back and forth between cloth & disposable while I waited for my full order to arrive. By the second day, Lorelai asked for the “better diapers” after her nap. She feels better in them and I feel better about them. The savings, which is what initially made my decision, is really going to end up just being a bonus.
