Just Heather

2009-09-190Babysitters are pretty hard to come by around these parts, but MFJ has volunteered to watch the girls now and then. When we decided we wanted to use E for exploring, her free Sunday afternoon sounded like the perfect opportunity.  Spencer had actually looked into geocaching a few years ago, but we didn’t own a GPS system at the time. Then, during last year’s fall camporee, I learned about letterboxing. We decided to explore the trailway in our hometown, which we’d somehow never done before, in search of hidden treasures.

2009-09-187We used his iPhone and the Geocaching application to start our exploration along the Monon Trail. Since this was our first attempt at treasure hunting, we decided to start simple. Or so we thought. We had a heck of a time finding our first cache, until we realized that we’d already found it and added it to our trash collection. We decided to combine our adventure with a small eco-effort and collect litter along the trail. The dog toy didn’t look at all out of place along a trail where residents frequently walk their dogs. It just looked like something accidentally left behind.

2009-09-188Once we figured it out, we added our name to the log and moved to our next target. This one we found a little more easily. It was a small treasure cache, but the contents were soggy. We left behind one of the treasures we had brought along for just this sort of thing, but didn’t find anything dry enough to take. The next time we head out, I’m adding baggies to our packing list so we can update any caches along the way. It was a fun experience, for sure, even though we have a lot of learning to do. This time around, we packed water, snacks, a few treasures for trading and a pen, thinking we were set.

2009-09-186_595It worked out pretty well for the few hours we were out and about, but next time I’m packing baggies, bandages and a bigger trash bag. All of that is beside the point, though, because we had a really great time together! I’m not usually an outdoor person, but I enjoyed walking hand in hand with my hubby in the fresh air. It was a great daytime date and one we’ll probably repeat. Next time I’d like to go with more puzzle-solving caches, for a fun twist. I think it would also be fun to hide a cache or two. I’ve always had a thing for pirates!

windmill-farm
So, there’s this guy. He sings stupid (some might say funny), geeky songs. And the hubby is kind of obsessed. Because he’s a geek. A few weeks ago, I decided to see if he was playing in our area around the holidays because I thought concert tickets would make a great Christmas gift. Yes, I know Christmas is still months away but it’s what I do. When I found out that he was playing (kinda sorta) near here in October and that tickets were only $20, I couldn’t really keep the information to myself.

chicagoI thought he might buy a ticket and take a quick road trip with a buddy. Except, apparently, none of his friends cared about the concert either. He was all set to buy a ticket and hit the show by himself (yeah, I married a dork), but I really hated the idea of him making a 3 or 4 hour (which usually ends up being 5 or 6 with traffic) drive on his own. So I made the ultimate sacrifice. I volunteered to go with him to the concert. You see, I’ve had the chance to see a favorite of mine in concert twice in the last year so it’s really only fair.

This is my geek.

This is my geek.

I suggested we spend the night and make a bit of a weekend out of it. The idea even occurred to find a way to turn it into an alphabet date, to take some of the sting out of the price tag (those are budgeted!). My only caveat was he would need to find the sitter. So, he immediately bought concert tickets and then promptly did not find a sitter. My sister finally volunteered to come spend the night with our girls and we were set! The only thing left to do was figure out how it fit into alphabetical order. C was already taken!

We had finally decided on an uber-dorky “G = geeky guitarist” when the trip got infinitely more interesting (for me, anyway). I discovered a very dear, longtime internet friend would be in town at the same time! Arrangements were made to meet Kathryn and her husband for dinner on Saturday before the concert. Meeting internet friends in real life? Yeah, G is for Geek. To top it off, our dinner would be at Giordano’s (a huge personal favorite, even if I do have to swallow a ton of pills just to eat it), rounding out the letter G theme quite nicely.

candy-shopWe were in Chicago less than 24 hours so it was quite a whirlwind. I love Chicago, and I was a bit disappointed not to have more time, but the destination wasn’t really the point of the trip. Alphabet Dating is a journey—it’s all about being in love. I fell in love with the windmill farm (all over again) on the way there, and my new favorite candy shop on the way back. And in between, I fell in love with my hubby a little more too. (Also? Just a tiny bit with Storm, but the hubby’s okay with that.)

Now that you know what all goes into planning an Alphabet Date, I’m sure you can’t wait to hear all about it. First, though, I have to unpack. Because it takes an awful lot of stuff to go away for just one night! (Even when you forget half of what you needed.) I really do want to tell you all about it (okay, not all)—especially the concert that I didn’t really want to go to because it was a-freaking-mazing! And, it’s okay that I preferred the opening act, right? (Don’t let me forget to tell you all about how I told one of the duo that he was going on my list.)

monumentSpencer and I have lived in the Indianapolis area for more than 10 years now (though never actually in Indy) so we’ve spent our fair share of time in the Circle City. Mostly, though, our trips downtown are centered around some sort of event so our activities are very specific and pre-planned. I always see the horse-drawn carriages, pass by the canal to watch the boats go by and drool over landmark, fine dining experiences we usually can’t afford. For our 4th alphabet date, we decided we were really Doing Downtown.

Our anniversary weekend provided the perfect opportunity, especially after my parents volunteered to take the girls. With the girls off to Camp Grandma’s and an entire weekend before us, we were anticipating such wonders as childfree grocery shopping, grown-up movies and sleeping in! We did all of that—and a whole lot more. After an indulgent sleep-filled morning, we headed down to Indianapolis. (I love how we always say that like it’s so! far! away! It’s, maybe, 30 minutes, but I hate traffic so it’s not something I do often.)

It did occur to us that since we’d never done any of the things on our list before, we should call ahead and see how it works. Does St. Elmo’s require a reservation? Yup! We got a 5pm. How late is the pedal boat rental place open? 8pm—we should have plenty of time for our dinner first. What else do we want to do? We decided to play the rest by year. Clearly, we don’t get out much.

st-elmoDinner at St. Elmo’s was decent. For the price we paid, I’d love to say dinner was fabulous or even a trite “you pay for the atmosphere” but, really, it’s just overpriced steak. The hubby really liked their world famous shrimp cocktail, though, so all was not lost. I’ve had much better steaks and I wasn’t super impressed with the atmosphere anyway. I mean, it’s cool the waiters were all in tuxes and all, but we have tablecloths and cloth napkins at home (yeah, we’re fancy like that) so for a $125 meal, I’m expecting to be fawned over.

The cosmo was super strong (points for that one, bartender!) and the food was decent. Still, we got to visit an official Indianapolis landmark. Now that it’s crossed off the list, I’m all good. If you ever want to say you went, I recommend stopping by just for appetizers and drinks—the shrimp cocktail is their signature dish anyway and, quite possibly, the best thing on the menu (this from someone who eats nothing from the sea). It’s a great way to have the experience without the full price tag.

canalAfter dinner, we wandered over to the canal. We had never actually been down to the canal (just watched it from the street), much less in it. We rented a pedal boat and enjoyed a good hour floating along. It really is quite beautiful. We had a truly lovely evening for it. The only thing better would have been a canal float by moonlight, but we work with what we’ve got. Now that we know it’s out there, I’m sure we’ll find another opportunity for it. Maybe next time, we’ll take a gondola ride (who knew we even had them in Indiana?).

sundaeAfter returning our boat, we took a walk up the other side of the canal. And, landed straight in a jazz concert at White River Park. From there, we decided to head in the general direction of Monument Circle—Spencer wanted some shots of the monument itself and I wanted dessert at South Bend Chocolate Cafe. We both got our wish, even though the circle was overrun by motorcycles. There was apparently a large event that day as parts of downtown were blocked to cars so heading home after our night was another experience altogether.

This was definitely not our most inexpensive date night, but it was well worth it! We spent a wonderful, relaxing day together, our marriage was in a very good place and it was great to share some things I’ve always wanted to do. Exploring the city tourist-style was a little grandiose for one day, and we didn’t get to everything. We’ve decided to use I for Indianapolis for the rest of it—slated for December to enjoy the holiday lights. Maybe next time we’ll remember to take some pictures of ourselves.

2009-06-206_595For Christmas last year, we received a membership to the Children’s Museum. I was very excited as we had actually never taken the children. I am such a horrible mother. Indianapolis is actually home to the number one children’s museum in the country. We have been several times now that we are members, and we will never be without a membership again.

Their current feature is The Power of Children. We’ve been through the exhibit twice and I hadn’t even seen a third of it. It looked incredibly fascinating and powerful (thus, the name). However, it’s not so much for children. My girls just couldn’t care at all. I joked that I wanted to visit the museum one day without them so we could finally spend some time with the things we enjoy. Our next date, C=Children’s Museum, was born.
2009-06-202
We dropped the kidlets with MFJ and headed downtown. With the construction they still have going on at the museum, we ended up in the basement to start. We bypassed the dinosaurs—been there, done that. On our way up to The Power of Children, we stumbled on the 2nd reason for our no kids allowed trip, The Clone Wars exhibit. I’m sure Lorelai will love it, but she wouldn’t be as interested in the details and we would have missed a lot chasing her down in a dash towards the train exhibit.

The Power of Children exhibit was definitely worth the trip. We sat through all 3 presentations and while I’m not sure Spencer was all that into it, I thoroughly enjoyed them all. The Diary of Anne Frank is the only assigned book from junior high that I actually read cover to cover. Clearly, we learned no lessons as the hatred and racism continued in our country. The story of Ruby Bridges fascinates me. I just can’t get over how recently it was. I would love to think we’re beyond that, but 50 years later I still see it regularly. Ryan White’s story was familiar. I was young so I think I remember the movie about his story more than the actual news. I grew up here in Indiana, though, so it was a pretty big deal.

2009-06-203Our next stop was for the geeks in us (okay, mostly him). The games through the years exhibit is fun even with the whole family, but we never get to play when the girls are around. Someone is always taking over my joystick and losing my last life. It was a bit crowded so I still haven’t had the opportunity to play Giant Connect 4, but beating Spencer at Pac-Man was worth it. Since we were already there, I insisted that we ride the carousel. Without children to wrangle, I was able to read all the cute tidbits on the history of the carousel. It’s amazing how educational even the fun & games exhibit can be, but we really had a lot of fun being kids.

We capped off our date with a few minutes of relaxation in the basement. Of course, remember we’re at the children’s museum so that isn’t even remotely dirty! They have this rotating couch-like thing that looks up at the bottom of the Fireworks of Glass sculpture pictured above, which, by the way, was apparently created by a pirate. See? Educational.

5995377I love food. I love musicals. I love pirates, a fact which everyone in hubby’s family now knows (thank you, Jagermeister). All of this adds up to the Beef and Boards production of Treasure Island being tailor made for me. It was always our intention to visit this local dinner theater as part of our Alphabet Dating journey, even before I discovered they were featuring pirates through the spring.

We had plenty of letter choices—dinner theater, play, musical—but when I won tickets last month it was obvious we would be using the alliteration for our B date.  I was very excited.  Him? Probably not so much.  Musicals aren’t really his thing, especially when he has to dress for the event.  I, personally, couldn’t wait to get dressed up, have dinner with my husband and catch a show. About pirates.

Then the weekend arrived and brought one of our biggest fights yet.  The night was rocky, the next day tough and I didn’t think we’d last to the evening much less feel up to a date.  We hashed through a lot over the course of the day and finally got to a pretty good spot.  It’s been one step forward, two steps back since we began the rehabilitation journey.  We’ve been on our current path for a month now so this time I’m convinced we’ve made lasting progress.

Anyway, the evening arrive and we were still married; I got all decked out (he told me I was beautiful—bonus points), he suited up (yum!), the babysitters arrived (Thanks, Mimi & Papaw!) and we set sail (ha—get it?) for our musical adventure.  I knew very little of what to expect, though I’ve been wanting to visit the place for years.  My parents and extended family all love Beef and Boards but that was the extent of my knowledge.  I didn’t even have real tickets, just an email telling me the show was at 8pm and the hostess had our reservation.

We arrived at 7:30 feeling pretty good about our promptness only to discover that the show starts at 8, yes, but the dinner buffet is 6-7:30.  Oops.  They were gracious to us and the waiter brought us each a plate anyway.  I couldn’t eat most of mine, due to my gluten intolerance, but I picked through what I could (off both plates, of course).  Turns out, the food wasn’t worth an extra hour of our time anyway. We did enjoy our intermission sundae but even that seemed to be nothing more than ice cream from a bucket with Hershey’s syrup.

The show, however, was well worth the price of admission even if it hadn’t been free. The production was fun.  The all male cast was a hoot.  The songs were lively and fun.  I loved that the stage direction kept putting pieces of the show right in front our table.  My one disappointment was that the gift shop was closed after the show.   I wanted a pirate flag, but it’s probably just as well that I didn’t add to our junk collection.  I’ll scrapbook the playbill instead along with the single, slightly blurry picture above.

The “rules” of Alphabet Dating specifically exclude movies because the point is to create experiences and reconnect.  That really requires something other than sitting next to one another in the dark.  It’s my game, though, so I make things up as we go. Still, the lighting and seating arrangement made the play acceptable for our purposes, I think.  We were able to cozy up together to enjoy the show and each another.

Here’s to 24 more letters (plus a lifetime) of enjoying one another.

pirates

The original Alphabet Dating project fizzled out last fall. After a phenomenally rough holiday season, Spencer and I decided to give it another try. When my brother and his wife gave us Pacer tickets for Christmas, coupled with an evening of free babysitting, we had the perfect opportunity to start again. Armed with Restaurant.com certificates for Blue Crew, we were prepared for an evening of athletics. A sports themed date is perfect for us. I love basketball; he loves the Colts.

View from Our Baseline Seats

View from Our Baseline Seats

It was a decent game, and I really enjoyed the baseline seats. We’ve been to several games over the years, but this was my first opportunity to have noisemakers behind the goal. I was stupidly excited about it! After the game, we headed out for appetizers at the Blue Crew. When we arrived at 10:05pm, though, we were told the kitchen closed at 10. Having missed dinner, we were hungry but I was determined to keep with the A-themed evening.

Majors Sports Cafe

Majors Sports Cafe

The next thing to pop in my mind was a sports cafe run by a friend of mine. Majors Sports Cafe has 47 television screens around the restaurant and a unique, eclectic menu including buffalo meatloaf! We enjoyed our dinner and conversation while we I kept an eye on hockey, soccer, a Peyton Manning documentary and an XBox competition—definitely more sports than even I was anticipating.

not from our baseline seats

Game 2: Club Level

We actually had the opportunity to revisit the Pacers (for free, I might add) before we got around to the next letter in our dating journey. That was a serendipitous evening with an even more serendipitous meeting. We bumped into our high school best friends as we were walking to the club level. Clearly the beginning of our new Alphabet Dating experience was steak sauce. Because that also starts with an A.

I have a problem accepting limits, especially my personal limits. I have gotten much better about saying “no” when I am asked to do things that don’t fit into my life. However, I still take on too much. The problem is that I really want to do each of the things I am doing now. It just isn’t physically possible, but which one goes?

Unfortunately, more recently it has been my marriage. Partly, because marriage is really hard work. I am tired. I am stretched thin. I am fresh out of the energy it takes to nurture a relationship. But it is also, partly, because I truly do know he’ll always love me anyway.

I’m trying to force myself out of the rut. I want to recapture the love that we shared, rather than continue to be roommates. We started this alphabet dating thing recently that I’m hoping will be helpful.

The idea is to come up with something more creative for a date that dinner and a movie. The only rule is movies don’t count. It has to be something that allows us to connect, rather than sit side by side ignoring each other. We had a couple evenings out, sponsored by the letters A & B. Our first 2 dates were pretty much dinner and, uh, now what? (Quick—think of a dessert that starts with a B!) From now on, the dates will be planned in advance so I guess I just created a second rule. We make things up as we go along.

Next up is C (duh) and we’re trying something a little different. We need to squeeze in 2 dates before E since we have a full weekend planned for our anniversary over Labor Day. Baby-sitters are a bit hard to come by so we’re skipping that part for our next date of campfire & creamsicles. We have everything we need for a date in our own backyard. Now we just need the girls to go to bed on time for once and the weather to cooperate.

The kiddos are at Camp Grandma so I have a hot date tomorrow night. It should be a fun, relaxing evening on a date that most needs a distraction. It will be nice to have day go by where my only real stress is deciding between the French Maid and the Mrs. Claus lingerie. I’d model so you could decide, but that would break my lifelong rule. Plus, I doubt you want to see a frumpy housewife in her nighties. Although, according to hubby there is a market out there for ordinary.