Just Heather

Earlier this week, I did an interview on my reasons for not letting my tween daughter see New Moon this weekend. As it turns out, the article was for CNN. I had no idea. I also had no idea people would view my decision as something bad. In the comments, I have been called a cruel, controlling cougar. Okay, one comment, but it has several Likes so there are obviously people who agree with Krista.

I am, quite honestly, shocked that anyone would disagree with me. The movie is rated PG-13 and based on a “young adult” novel. My daughter is only 11. It seems only logical that I would have to make a parental decision on the matter and assert some authority as her mother. In fact, I have trouble understanding the parents who let their children read the books or watch the movies without any personal knowledge of the content.

I have read the entire series—10 times. I, obviously, love it but that doesn’t make it automatically appropriate for a child. I love Cosmos too but you don’t see me passing them out at family dinner. Twilight is quite tame, as is New Moon, really. The Volturi are creepy & scary, sure, but she has enjoyed Aliens and Poltergeist so that is not an issue. She’s also read the entire Harry Potter series and seen the movies (in fact, she’s watching one now on a sick day) so the fantasy thing is clearly not an issue.

Where I take issue is with Eclipse, as the content turns more adult. Bella faces decisions about premarital sex and teen marriage. In Breaking Dawn, her struggles expand to include the topic of abortion. Yes, I’ve discussed all of these with her but that doesn’t mean she’s ready to see them played out in her imagination or on screen. I did finally relent and let her read Twilight & New Moon, but I put my foot down on finishing the series. At least for a few years.

However, I was not willing to let her see this movie yet. Mostly, because there is always the chance with a book-based movie for content from later books to insert itself into earlier movies. I wasn’t sure how much of the above subjects would be a part of New Moon. As it turns out, the movie is actually quite accurate to the book. I was pleasantly surprised. We’ll probably let her see it when it comes out on DVD.

That’s called parenting. I see nothing cruel about letting children know some things were not meant for them. When did it become okay to let children make their own decisions. I either stand idly by while my daughter does whatever she wants or risk being called a mean mom and a helicopter parent. I tend to be fairly liberal about a lot of things. I think their dad and I do a pretty good job of finding middle ground—giving our children freedom as appropriate and reining them in when they need guidance.

Why is everything black or white with Mommy Wars? You either breastfeed or you don’t. You can work or stay at home. We draw so many lines about what is and isn’t a good mom. There doesn’t seem to be any recognition that every parent has different children and, therefore, will need to tailor their own decisions. I can’t even use the same parenting twice because I have 3 very unique girls! Is it really so hard to understand each child, situation and parent may need to make decisions unique to their circumstances?

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Within minutes of sending the above tweet, my cohort at Mom’s Marbles had 3 different remedy options. Oh, how I love Twitter! I was impressed with my followers, but also a bit jealous of Sarah. Okay, that’s a bad word. I just wish I’d had the opportunities moms have now. (Geez, that makes me sound so old!) When I was nursing Stacia—nearly 12 years ago—I was utterly clueless. I had very little support and no idea where to turn.

On day 5, in a panic that I couldn’t get her to latch, I finally called the lactation consultant from the hospital. She told me that my baby had lost nearly a pound and that I should feed her formula! Luckily, I had read up enough to know that it is very common for babies to lose up to 10% of their body weight. Plus, I’m good at math. You know what is 10% of nearly 10 pounds? That’s right—almost a pound!

Luckily, we eventually made it work but it was such a miserable experience that I nursed her for only 6 months. The first time a tooth popped through those gums? Yeah, I was done! I had an easier experience with Brenia. I managed to breastfeed her for 9 months, almost exclusively. I was back to struggling with Lorelai, but she had so many food allergies that I was forced to keep at it anyway.

We were successful at near-exclusive breastfeeding for about 13 months, but I wish I’d had the support I see available now. From mom to mom forums to Twitter to Facebook friends, we’re more connected than ever before. While no one in my circle was breastfeeding at the time, I’m sure others I knew at a distance were. Moms today have the opportunity to connect like never before.

I’m so grateful for this chance to reach out, ask questions and help others because, while my breastfeeding days are behind me, we have much more coming! (Did I mention she’s almost 12?!)


Thanks to the Juicebox for sponsoring the breastfeeding conversation. Be sure to check out their widget on my left sidebar and take the poll—did you enjoy breastfeeding or not? If you didn’t breastfeed, maybe you’ll relate to the woman in the video who says she was ashamed to bottle feed her baby.

As our oldest approaches the teen years, it has been fascinating to see her interest in some of the same things I was into as a preteen. Today, she is wearing this little number—way too reminiscent of the 80s clothing I donned at her age. It doesn’t stop there, not by a long shot. In her room, you’ll find posters starring her favorite pop idols. Joey McIntyre may have been replaced by Zac Efron and the 90210 crew has been ousted in favor of High School Musical, but the theme is the same!

How cool would it be to have a poster printed of her & her friends, maybe even a collage, to add to her collection? At Digital Room, you can upload your favorite photos to create poster prints. If I can find an awesome photo or come up with a good design, this will be her “something you need” gift under the tree. With the free one I’m receiving for sharing this review, it’s yet another way to lower our Christmas budget. If you could use a poster-sized holiday gift, maybe I can lower your holiday budget a bit too!

To enter for your chance to win, simply leave a comment here sharing what you would like to have printed. You can earn additional entries by:

  • Following me on Twitter
  • Blogging about this giveaway
  • Tweeting about this giveaway: Win a free custom poster print from @JustHeather! http://bit.ly/2BY21Q

For your extra entries to be counted, be sure to leave an additional comment directing me to your entry. Only one additional entry per method (i.e. While multiple tweets are appreciated it, only one will count as a drawing entry.) The contest runs until November 20th at 11:59pm edt. One winner will be notified by email on November 21st (as selected by Random.org) and must submit their mailing information within 48 hours or a new winner will be chosen. Open only to residents of the U.S. and cannot be shipped to PO boxes.

posters_drYour prize (18×24 poster print on High Gloss or Semi Gloss paper with free UPS shipping) will be awarded in the form of a custom coupon code, redeemable at Digital Room. Prize includes free UPS shipping in the U.S.


I was offered this giveaway from Digital Room, through the U-Printing blog sponsorship program. I am receiving a free poster print in addition to the free product for my readers for hosting this giveaways, but the opinion is 100% real and honest.

“Today is my birthday, and I got a box!”

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Happy Wordless Wednesday!

2009-10-033Our weekend getaway date is brought to you by the letter G—good friends, Giordano’s and geeky guitarists! We were in Chicago for less than 24 hours, but it was an amazing weekend. I love road trips, honestly, for the uninterrupted conversations and connection. With a construction delay and marathon traffic, we had plenty of time for both. We arrived at our hotel (Intercontinental at a great deal via Hotwire.com) with barely enough time for a quick makeup touch-up before our planned dinner with an old friend.
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I love that my husband was willing to give part of our weekend away to finally meet a longtime internet friend in person. It was, of course, not like meeting someone new at all—Kathryn and I talked and enjoyed one another like old girlfriends. Because we are. The husbands indulged us and I am so glad our schedules worked so we could connect while she was in town for the marathon. We had dinner at Giordano’s (after a quick stop for my gluten meds) and it was delish, as always!

We took a cab straight to the concert. This is the part I was a little concerned about. I wasn’t particularly interested in seeing Jonathan Coulton, even though it was technically the reason for our trip. The hubby is the fan boy there, but I’m nothing if not supportive. We had also heard he would be performing a Flood show in tribute to They Might Be Giants who were performing across town. I love TMBG so I figured all was not lost. Besides, it was at a bar. I’m on a quest to sample signature martinis across the country. Park West didn’t have one, but my server came up with something fabulous! I had four a couple throughout the show.

2009-10-037The concert began with the opening band, naturally. Paul and Storm kicked off the evening with—what else—Opening Band. I had never heard them before but was instantly in love. They are smart, funny and Storm is sexy as hell. Um, I mean, they are both very talented. What can I say? I love a hot geek! The Flood Show with P&S and Jonathan Coulton came next and was amazing. It was fascinating to watch, especially knowing they had never performed that set before and had only practiced it for the week.

Jonathan Coulton was about what I expected. I loved watching the hubby enjoy himself. In fact, I spent much of his set people watching. The drunkety drunk girl in front of us provided much entertainment. (You gotta love an evening when you can enjoy four a few drinks and still not be the drunk girl.) Super fan girl with the dance moves in the front section was also highly amusing. However, the best part of our experience came after the concert. We hung around, anticipating a meet ‘n greet.

2009-10-036Security tried to shoo everyone away and insisted there wouldn’t be. This seemed off to me, from what I had read about the bands, so we hung around the merchandise table. I wanted to get the newly released Jonathan Coulton scratch ‘n sniff stickers for our little fan girl at home. Brenia is obsessed with Re: Your Brains, and has many of his other songs memorized (you know, the age appropriate ones). Our persistence paid off as all three talented men arrived to hang out with their fans for a bit. Of course, for this scene I was cast as the drunk girl.

2009-10-035The hubby got to shake fans with an idol, chat for a few minutes and collect a picture for our growing celebrity photo wall. I got to drool over Paul and Storm, and may have accidentally told Storm he was going on my celebrity list. How secure does a marriage have to be for your hubby to allow you to stalk hit on another guy while you are on a date? Of course, everyone knows a celebrity doesn’t count. Still, I’d say that’s a testament to how far we have come in the last few months. I’m willing to sit through a concert I have no interest in hearing and he’s willing to watch me drool over celebs.

That’s true love, yo.

img_3610-largeWhen Lorelai first announced she wanted a Marshmallow Party, I blew it off as a toddler whim. However, the idea never went away and she started telling everyone she was “having a marshmallow birthday.” I realized I’d better get creative. Of course, the first thing I thought of was roasting marshmallows. The entire party surrounded the food, but I think I managed to pull everything together into one thematic event. Yes, that’s right, I hosted a Marshmallow Party. How many of you can say that?

The Food

We had rice crispy treats (my first gluten free attempt—yum!), marshmallow roasting and a chocolate fountain (for dipping the marshmallows, among other things). We also had bowls of pretty, fruit-flavored marshmallows. That becomes important later.
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The Cake

img_3608-largeI was clueless about how to do a cake, all the way up until last week. At first, I thought about just frosting a giant rice crispy treat. It certainly would have been cheaper than a gluten free cake, but I just couldn’t let go of the cake idea. I toyed with the idea of putting a roasting marshmallow on a sheet cake. I considered ways to make the cake look like a marshmallow—white frosting isn’t that hard! In the end, I went with an idea given to me by a pastry-chef friend. I frosted a 2-layer round and added marshmallows to look like a polka-dot cake. Well, I hope that’s what it looked like anyway. Polka dots or alien space ship? You decide!

The Gifts

img_3647-largeNow that we use the present poem, buying gifts for holiday and birthday is pretty easy. Fitting our “traditional” bike for a 4-year-old into something you need was a bit of a stretch, I’ll admit. She did open the helmet, though, and that’s a definite necessity! She opened most of her gifts on her actual birthday, but I purchased wrapping paper to match her theme anyway. I found pastel polka dot paper (say that 3 times fast!) in the baby shower section. The colors almost exactly matched the fruity marshmallows!

The Decorations

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How do you decorate with marshmallows? Again, I sprung off the idea of marshmallow polka dots. We picked paper goods and balloons in matching colors, but that was about it. If I’d had an unlimited budget, I could have covered much of the house with gossamer or fluffy cotton. I decided pink tablecloths were good enough. Besides, we had a chocolate fountain! What more did I really need?

 

The Marshmallow Princess

No birthday party is complete in our household without a costume. The tradition began in the age of princess parties—Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella and Jasmine have all celebrated their birthdays in our home. We have reused Halloween outfits, bridal gowns and recital costumes. This year was no exception. Lorelai’s Halloween butterfly costume became a Marshmallow Princess outfit by simply removing the wings and adding a crown—decked out with marshmallows, of course.
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The next morning, Lorelai told me “Lasterday was my best party ever!” The princess has spoken. Best. Party. Ever.

The New York Times says “firstborns are smarter” in a new scientific study on the relationship between birth order and I.Q. This is good news for me, as the oldest child of four. I’m just not really convinced. I have 3 girls, and while they’re all smart as a whip, I don’t know that I’d say one is smarter than the other. (Not that I’ve ever had their I.Q. tested.)

I think Stacia was our earliest (and best) talker, but I always chalked that up to spending 5 years of her life almost exclusively around grownups. Of course, maybe that’s the crux of it all—children who hear only adults speaking, who are talked to frequently and who get more attention may grow up with an advantage.

I don’t know, but it probably won’t stop me from letting my siblings know that I’m the smartest. It was in the New York Times! Check out the article through Juicebox widget on my sidebar, and let me know what you think!

When we embarked on our first alphabet journey, we selected the Melting Pot as F is for fondue. I chose it specifically because I had put a romantic dinner at the melting pot on my 40×40 list. However, by the time we got to F, romance was nonexistent. It was just not going to be what I wanted it to be, and I tried to convince him to go somewhere else. I believe I suggested Red Robin (F is for French Fries?), but we had a plan and—by, golly—we were sticking to it.

Whether it was self-fulfilling prophecy or I was just right all along will remain a mystery, but our $100 dinner at The Melting Pot was not what I had envisioned when I added it to my list. We were tense, quiet and I was irritated at spending so much money on just another dinner. The setting was nice—they had given us one of the private booths—and the food was good, but the experience only hammered home the fact that we were not a couple. It would be the last of our alphabet dates, and the beginning of the end.

When we started over (both literally and figuratively), the Melting Pot found itself once again listed at letter F. This time, I decided, we were going all out! I wore my little black dress. He wore his pinstripe suit and the fedora! He looked completely delicious and I couldn’t wait to have him to myself over a fondue pot of more delicious. MFJ graciously agreed to spend a quiet evening at home (ours, not hers) supervising a slumber party. The girls were excited, I was thrilled she could do my hair (and loan me the right earrings), then we were off to a late dinner at the Melting Pot.

This time, it was everything I had hoped it would be. The only drawback was we didn’t get a private booth, even though we had actually requested it this time. We were, instead, seated in Lovers’ Lane. It was set off a ways from the open seating area, with high back booths to provide a more secluded dining experience. Regardless, the food was fantastic (especially the Yin Yang Martini), he told me I was beautiful and, most importantly, the love songs in the background meant something.

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