Just Heather
36. Watch a meteor shower.

Alternate Title: How a meteor saved my marriage.

Okay, so this Perseid thing comes along every August. I am 32 years old and had never seen it. That’s why it went on 40×40“>the official list. I hadn’t made a specific plan to watch it this year, although having it on my list did put it on my radar. I was paying attention to the dates and the optimal viewing time was middle of the night the evening before Blog Indiana. I didn’t think that was wise.

Then, instead of going to bed early so I’d be well rested for my conference, I stayed up late fighting with my husband. I’ve made no secret of our ongoing struggles. They’ve come to a head in huge blowups a couple of times in the last few years, and this one was bad. As in packing my suitcase bad. Then, I read this and cried. Buckets. But it wasn’t enough to make me go back into the house. Pride, probably. Fear, a lot.

I was standing outside thinking about how many times we’ve had the same fight. Wondering how we could co-parent separately if we couldn’t even co-parent together. Trying to figure out how to make it on my own. Contemplating how you can love someone so very much and still not be able to find a way to live together. Something in the sky caught my eye, but as I’ve never seen a meteor shower I didn’t really know what it would look like or what to expect.

As I was looking up, a huge meteor, as in movie effects huge, streaked across the sky. I was doing it—I was crossing off another one! That’s when the tears started. I wanted to tell someone that I had just moved another step closer to 40×40 and he wasn’t there. I didn’t stop to think; I just tore back into the house with tears streaming down my face to tell him I was watching it and he should go watch it too.

He joined me in the front yard to see the meteor shower, but then he grabbed my hand and tugged me to the backyard for the better view. And never let go. We quietly enjoyed the show for a bit, until Spencer went back into the house for a blanket so we could lie down. We watched for a couple hours, actually, and started talking. I realized our life, our marriage is kind of like that meteor shower.

It has its darkness. It has bright beauty. And just when you think it’s over, something spectacular happens. And, just like Perseid, we’ll be celebrating every August. Our latest Alphabet Dating adventure occurred just a few weeks ago for our 12th anniversary. We’re in this together, for life; we just have a few things to figure out along the way.

6 Responses to “36. Watch a meteor shower.”

  1. Heather, I’m so glad you posted this…doesn’t it feel good to get it out there? It was beautifully written, and now you’re the one making ME tear up! I’m so glad that blogging has brought us together, and I’m so grateful for your friendship.

    Keep workin’ and keep lovin’! =)

  2. Aw gee, thanks for the encouragement, Heather. It was raining buckets here during the Perseids, so we didn’t get to watch them this year.

  3. Oh I was holding my breath there for a minute–the pride and fear thing, I have totally felt myself in that very place in the past. That meteor shower was JUST FOR YOU TWO, you know. ((hugs)).

  4. I believe relationships SHOULD be passionate… during both the good and not so good times…. otherwise, what’s the point? While that makes it difficult and scary at times..if we never experienced pain how could we appreciate the joy?

    Thanks for sharing such personal thoughts and feelings Heather…nice to know it’s not just me!