Just Heather

I hate feeling out of control. With 3 kids this is a common occurrence, but after many years I finally managed to gain control of my calendar at least. I carefully write each days activities into my daily planner, transfer it to the family calendar and add it to Outlook so I can send it to hubby’s cell phone. It sounds like a lot, but it really is a simple process that helps me out. I get to physically write every 3 times so that by the time it’s written everywhere it needs to be I have it memorized anyway. Next to each day, I also write down my menu plan. Plan being the operative word, but we do fairly well. It helps to plan dinner next to the day so I know if I’ll be away from home or too tired to cook.

Last month made me crazy because every time I planned something I had to follow it up with “unless my sister has her baby.” I felt like I should be writing that each day in my calendar. Nothing made me happier than when the doc agreed to schedule an induction so that Daddy could come home from his base. The mean military nixed that idea by telling him when they sent him home at Christmas because base camp was closed he used up all his leave for the first half of the year!

I’m in a strange sort of limbo again, though it is not nearly as bad. This month, my cousin is due with her first baby. As soon as the little princess is born, my own family will arrive to visit. Everything I do now is with the thought that I may have a full house by morning. Both of them have been due right in the middle of the month so it throws everything off kilter. She could go two weeks in either direction so the entire month of May is up in the air. At least this time I don’t constantly need to have a bag packed and the gas tank full.

I loved having everything planned out with my last two pregnancies. We scheduled their birth dates 3 weeks in advance. Granted, the last little bugger decided to arrive a week ahead of schedule, but I didn’t have that out of control feeling about it. Now, of course, she keeps me off kilter on a daily basis.

I am looking forward to summer when all the babies are born and my calendar frees up a bit. It will be filled only by made-up things and fun (free) events. I will plan our summer days and actually write things like Library Day on the calendar. This way I have a plan in place, the kids know what to expect and hubby knows where we are on any given day so he can ask the girls about their day at dinner.

In a way, I still have no control. My calendar controls me. And I love it.

Why does it seem that doctors are more interested in labeling symptoms than finding a proper diagnosis? I am finding this a lot in relation to celiac disease. So many people come to the gluten free lifestyle after years of being diagnosed as a variety of things that are really just symptoms of a disease that has a complete turnabout with a gluten free diet. Of course, the doctors and pharmacies don’t make any money if I simply eat right, do they?

Celiac Disease is listed as one of the top disease doctors miss because they are too busy labeling our symptoms. Constant tummy issues? Irritable Bowel Syndrome (syndrome, not a disease—there has to be a cause somewhere). Extreme fatigue—we’ll call that Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and not bother to find out why. Anemia—wouldn’t the iron deficiency be caused by something?

We are still working out Lorelai’s iron deficiency. She used to get her iron from formula (on occasion) and fortified breads & cereals. Now she is gluten free and can’t seem to handle meat either. No iron for her. The only things she can stomach that are slightly higher in iron are sweet potatoes and raisins—both of which she loves. They seem to be helping with her energy levels, but the diapers are not so pretty. I think we’ll have to start a baby vitamin.

At least we have an answer for Lorelai. So many people still don’t have answers for their issues, including many in my own family. Considering the genetic link for celiac disease I’m sure I know their answer, but they don’t seem to want it. They’d rather take a variety of medications or deal with stomach pains and other issues than live a healthy, happy life without bread.

I’ve been MIA in the blogging world lately. I may update now and then, but I certainly haven’t stayed on top of it nor have I spent much time with my blogroll. I have, on occasion, checked in with those I feel a more personal connection (even if I am not commenting). I didn’t realize how absent I had been until I dusted off the old blogroll and realized that some are more missing than I. Several blogs are no longer in existence. Some have moved. Some haven’t updated for many months. I updated it a bit last night and rearranged it to be alphabetized. It was previously set to recently updated, but blogroll doesn’t seem to get the memo when people update so that was a little off. I’m hoping with a little more order to it I can stay with it a little more.

It was nice to catch up with some old “friends” this week. People are very busy these days. Pesky has expanded her domestic skills to include lingerie making. Phil and Chris are embarking on a gluten free diet right along with me. Deb is as crazy as ever. Katie loves Girl Scout camping way more than I do. Rachael is living in DC but will be happy to return to small town life, I suspect. Mich is just as entrenched in the toddler years as we are. Ang is just too busy to update her damn blog.

Speaking of updates, here’s the skinny on what I’ve not been writing:

  • My little sister is pregnant and getting married (in that order).
  • I get to spend a kid-free week helping (read: playing with my nephew) since Daddy is military and can’t come home until May.
  • I laugh hysterically every time I think of hubby playing single dad for a week with 3 kids.
  • The gluten free diet goes extremely well and I’m learning to eat lunch, which was admittedly a struggle for me even before I eliminated half my diet.
  • The big two are on spring break at Camp Grandma’s.
  • Lorelai has chosen her free week to become an official toddler. She is into everything and I am exhausted!
  • Cabinet locks rock.
  • Our pediatric dentist clearly didn’t realize how hard it would actually be to remove the pacifier. I’m sure he was exaggerating the necessity.
  • I am 30. That’s all I’ll say about that.
  • I will never, ever chair Girl Scout cookie sales again so long as I live.
  • It’s too cold for soccer to start next week.
  • Webkinz games are addictive. You should all get one for your kids so you can play Dicekinz with me at night while they are sleeping.

You have to appreciate the logic that allows a 4-year-old celiac to think it is perfectly acceptable to eat half a package 2 boxes of gluten-filled Girl Scout cookies when no one is looking, but panic hysterically when I try to pack a box of regular (unopened) pasta in the same grocery bag as gluten free food.

After my youngest daughter’s diagnosis last year, I did a lot of research on celiac disease, naturally. I started noticing symptoms that we had taken to our pediatrician(s) numerous times over the course of 9 years, but no one had ever connected them.

It all seems rather disconnected, after all. I would never have guessed that joint pain (diagnosis: growing pains), skin disorders (diagnosis: eczema), behavioral issues (diagnosis: undiscovered after repeated visits with child psychologists, school counselors and doctors) and chronic nasal conditions (diagnosis: allergies, sinusitis, ear infections) were in any way related until I saw them all on one symptom list for the first time.

We made the decision in December to have the girls tested, but they balked at the idea of someone “taking out their blood.” Knowing that testing is unreliable in children anyway, we agreed to try a dietary challenge. The idea was that we would remove gluten from their diet, reintroducing it at 3 separate times over the course of 3 months. By day 5 of our first gluten free week, we were having the most peaceful days in recent memory. The first challenge was an utter failure—with the girls in pain less than an hour after their breakfast toast, in the bathroom all day and hyperactive off the charts by the next afternoon. As that last part could be chalked up to Christmas-mania, we were only looking to the gastrointestinal issues for results.

The end of the second gluten challenge a few weeks later had our oldest daughter begging, “Please don’t make me do the 3rd challenge.” The girls have now been completely gluten free for over 2 months. The few accidents we’ve encountered along the way have only served to prove how right the decision was. They now react to gluten with immediate, obvious, physical signs (especially Brenia)—flushed cheeks, hyperactivity, anger issues and complete exhaustion.

I decided the genes had to come from somewhere and decided to have myself tested. The problem is you are supposed to be eating the equivalent of 4 pieces of bread a day for 2-3 months for accurate readings and I have been pretty “gluten-lite” since Lorelai’s diagnosis. It only made sense to cook one family meal every night so my only source of gluten was lunch here and there. Of course, we all know I’m not patient enough for that so I had the blood test anyway. It came back midway in the normal range, which my doctor said given my recent diet was probably inconclusive. In lieu of additional testing, she suggested I go completely gluten free for 3 months.

I’m starting month two and have shown the same significant improvement as all three girls. I would never have referred to any of my “issues” as symptoms, but now that they are gone it has been life-changing. I have more energy than I can remember having in my life. I am more focused than ever—the house first floor (I’m getting there!) has been cleaner and more organized than ever before. The headaches I have had nearly daily since I was a child are few and far between. I lost 4 pounds in the first 4 days—presumably all water weight as I lost immediate inches. I never realized how bloated I was until it went away and came back again in a rush after a gluten mistake.

While I can’t say I’m truly glad to have a lifelong autoimmune disorder, I am so thrilled to have discovered it. I feel great, my house/life are (fairly) in order for the first time and I am enjoy my children more than ever before. Of course, the absence of their attitude and anger-management issues make that so much easier. All I know is, positive test or not, it’s the gluten-free life for me (and my kids)!

Most of my family is now on a gluten free diet (more on that when I have the time). This is really quite a simple thing since we were already fans of fresh fruit and veggies. I cook a lot from scratch anyway so it was a fairly easy matter of buying different ingredients. It does mean a significant jump in our food budget, but that seems to be balancing out by the fact that we can no longer really eat out.

For one, it’s just not fun anymore. The best part of dinner out is almost always the rolls/bread/biscuits the hostess drops on your table to start your meal. But most importantly, few restaurants seem to know what is even in their food. Even if I didn’t have food intolerance to deal with, that would be scary to me. I can’t begin to tell you how many restaurants—chains, mostly—can’t answer a simple question about the ingredients.

I get excuses about various suppliers, ingredients changing, etc. A lot of the problem seems to be messy kitchens—flour flying, fries mixed with breaded chicken, contaminated knives and cutting boards. Mostly, though, people seem to be clueless. I tend to simplify our issue by saying we are allergic to wheat rather than go into celiac disease and the concept of gluten which is in wheat, barley, rye and malt.

Today, after mentioning the “wheat allergy” to our waitress I ordered each of the girls grilled chicken with no bun. The genius waitress tells me, “Oh, they are just the regular white buns.” Yes, and these are made from those fancy wheat-free white stalks?

We’re all fine! That’s how I started this story when I called my hubby and my mom. I was driving down 465 in the center lane. Traffic started slowing so I slowed down carefully and was doing fine. The next thing I know we got whammed from the passenger side by a pickup truck.

From what I could gather-and the way the police report reads-a van was behind me and not slowing as carefully as I. He swerved to the left lane to avoiding rear-ending me right into the path of the Ford truck. The truck swerved to avoid him, lost control and fishtailed his rear right into Brenia’s door.

Luckily, we bought Serenity specifically for her safety rating. The door is smashed in good from the outside, but from the inside there doesn’t appear to be any damage-which is why daughter is completely, totally fine! She was crying at first and I freaked out. There I was trying to keep my car from sliding to the right into more cars and whip around to check on my girls all at the same time!

I managed to keep control, get to the shoulder and frantically yell “What’s hurt?!” about 20 times. She stopped crying and said “I’m fine, Mommy, but that was scary!” I couldn’t stop telling her how proud I was that she stopped being scared to stop Mommy from being scared!

Lorelai slept right through the whole thing. She’s obviously fine. This morning I’m a bit sore, but that could be the stress of the day. Brenia feels fine, according to my sister. I was on my way to take her to Camp Grandma for the week so she’s not here with me to hug and cuddle and reassure myself she’s totally fine. Though it’s probably a good thing for her to be having a good time and not seeing the van every day. It will be fixed by the time she sees it again.

Of course the other two insurance companies are playing a game of Not It. The driver of the van-whose car was not at all touched-is now saying he wasn’t involved, he just stopped to see if he could help. Since the police report says differently, my insurance company should be able to get his to pay up. In the meantime, driving safely is going to cost me about $700! I get to pay my deductible and a rental fee while we wait. If they can get a commitment from either party before the repairs are complete, I won’t have to pay a cent.

I could rent a car and save a little bit of money since I only have 2 kids for a few days, but I’d just have to trade it in this weekend anyway. It is physically impossible to get 2 carseats and a 3rd child into the back of even the largest sedan. Plus, I need a van by next Thursday to haul 125 cases of Girl Scout cookies. It’s all about priorities.

Long time, no see!

  • Anyone who could make it around the world in 80 days, clearly didn’t stop to visit family. Christmas alone took us 6.
  • Through a series of gluten free trials and challenges, it would appear that all 3 of our children are celiac. Updates to come when I have more time.
  • The chicken pox vaccine doesn’t work for shit.
  • Sick days plus holiday break makes for a very, very long 3 weeks.
  • The love of baths is clearly genetic. The wonders of an oatmeal bath have created yet another addict.
  • 9-year-olds do not know how to read in a tub without soaking the book.
  • I, however, have successfully read 5 books in the tub since Christmas.
  • Speaking of books, I once told my uncle that I would love to own James Whitcomb Riley books, but they are too expensive in our flea markets. Though I haven’t seen him for several years, I just received my 6th book in the mail from him this week. Also, though I don’t remember ever mentioning that I wanted to find Alice of Old Vincennes (my hometown), he sent an antique copy last month!
  • It’s Girl Scout cookie time! And my cookie mom will be out of town when the orders are due!
  • Also, the internets have suddenly decided that I don’t need to receive any email from said cookie mom.
  • Gluten free diet + sneaky child who loves to climb=very cranky, glutened child who doesn’t seem to understand cause & effect
  • Molars really hurt on the way in, poor baby!