A week of Snuggie kids
Pro-Mom or Pro-Blogger? Why do we have to choose? I think I can be a great mother, and still run a blog as a professional business. Maybe the issue comes up because many women bloggers started as stay-at-home moms who just wanted contact with the outside world, unaware of where it could lead. However, I specifically created Feedindy (now Inexpensively) as a business. It takes a lot of time & effort to organize sales, write daily articles and track deals. I love what I do, and I love helping people, but it takes way too much time to do it for free.
I am comfortable with my work-at-home title. I get to be here, present in my children’s lives, free to create flex time in my work schedule to attend field trips, assist with class parties and accompany my youngest on playdates & library events. I work in the mornings, in between playing Barbies, refereeing board games and donning my own tiara for the fashion show. I work in the afternoons during the ever-decreasing naptime, and I work at night after the children are tucked into bed.
I work less than 8 hours per day, plus I get to fit my time into our schedule. The saying “You can have it all, just not at the same time.” is partly true. It’s important to find a good balance—I have high hopes that the Blissdom schedule is going to help me get better at that! It is also important to know what your goal is with blogging. Do you blog for fun, connection, a desire to help others or for the freebies & income it could provide? Of course, we can all use a little extra cash but if that wasn’t the motivation for your blog, then don’t get sidetracked trying to make it happen.
Every person, business and even blog should have a mission statement. Define who you are, what you will do and how you plan to accomplish it. Define three, specific things you plan to do with your blog, then concisely state how you will get them done. For example, I am a married mother of three beautiful, active girls who have created in me a Montessori mom, Scout mom, allergy mom and avid coupon clipper. I share deals and tips at Inexpensively and report progress on learning to be a grown-up here at Just Heather. I’ll tell my darkest secrets, share my hopes and dreams and dish on my favorite things, but I promise to tell you no lies. We’ll laugh, we’ll cry, and I’m hoping, in the end, we’ll be friends.
You now know exactly who I am, and I’ve told you that on this blog you’ll learn my hopes & dreams, find the occasional product review and that I’m looking to make friends. Of course, the mission statement for this blog leaves it wide open—and that’s exactly the point! Just Heather is a personal blog, a journal of sorts. It’s been various things over the last 6 years, but mostly it’s just my little corner of the web to scrapbook my life. The content may change as my life does, but the purpose of my blog is still clearly defined. Inexpensively also has a definitive mission statement, but it’s completely different because its goals and motivation are completely different.
The Inexpensively network provides a whole lifestyle concept for savings. We compile weekly lists for grocery store deals, suggest ideas on living your life for less, offer tips on finding the best savings and encourage our community to be charitable even on a budget. We connect a network of individuals from around the country to provide families with the most up to date and accurate savings tools in their own communities. In short, we encourage families to maximize their budgets so they can use some of their savings to help improve their neighborhood.
I challenge you to create a mission statement for your blog. Use it in your bio, showcase it on your Facebook Page and come back here to share it with me—but, most importantly, let it help you decide if what you’re doing with your blog is what you should be doing! If an opportunity, article or topic comes up that doesn’t fit into your mission statement, it probably doesn’t belong on your blog.
6:55am Alarm sounds; I turn it off—oops! It’s been a long weekend.
7:15am Stacia comes in hacking, gagging and sporting a fever. I decide not to wake the other girls.
7:25am Brenia comes in coughing, sporting flushed cheeks and refusing to let me take her temp because she is “feeling totally fine!” and begging to go to school.
8:15am Girls are eating cereal for breakfast. Thank goodness Rice Chex are now gluten free.
8:48am Brenia still begging to go to school; Lorelai finally awake. She appears healthy. Finally.
9:05am Lorelai decides to pour herself a bowl of cereal. It overflows.
9:15am We are finished cleaning the milk & cereal mess.
9:20am Lorelai is now drinking cereal & milk. From a cup. Whatever. It’s probably less messy that way.
10:30am Lorelai draws a picture in blue crayon. On the floor. For real. It coordinates nicely with the green mural on our wall.
10:45am Blue crayon man appears to be mostly gone from the floor. A magic eraser should take care of the rest.
11:30am Brenia announces she’ll be making lunch today. Considering all the T-day leftovers we sill have, I decide she can handle that.
11:45am Brenia sits down on the couch to watch television.
12:00pm It occurs to me that this is not the work of someone fixing lunch. She says, “Lorelai is doing it.”
12:01pm My kitchen is covered in cranberry, mashed potatoes and cereal. I have no idea how there is any cereal left to make messes.
12:15pm The floor is swept, the table is scrubbed, lunch is in the microwave and I am wearing food I didn’t eat.
This brings us to lunch and nap/quiet time. Now that it is over, I’m slightly afraid of what havoc they will reek next. Well, not they, actually. When I tweeted a bit about my morning the hubby asked what was up. I said simply, “Lorelai.” I’m often asked how I can ever get mad at someone so cute. Sure, she’s adorable.
Except when she’s not.
Earlier this week, I did an interview on my reasons for not letting my tween daughter see New Moon this weekend. As it turns out, the article was for CNN. I had no idea. I also had no idea people would view my decision as something bad. In the comments, I have been called a cruel, controlling cougar. Okay, one comment, but it has several Likes so there are obviously people who agree with Krista.
I am, quite honestly, shocked that anyone would disagree with me. The movie is rated PG-13 and based on a “young adult” novel. My daughter is only 11. It seems only logical that I would have to make a parental decision on the matter and assert some authority as her mother. In fact, I have trouble understanding the parents who let their children read the books or watch the movies without any personal knowledge of the content.
I have read the entire series—10 times. I, obviously, love it but that doesn’t make it automatically appropriate for a child. I love Cosmos too but you don’t see me passing them out at family dinner. Twilight is quite tame, as is New Moon, really. The Volturi are creepy & scary, sure, but she has enjoyed Aliens and Poltergeist so that is not an issue. She’s also read the entire Harry Potter series and seen the movies (in fact, she’s watching one now on a sick day) so the fantasy thing is clearly not an issue.
Where I take issue is with Eclipse, as the content turns more adult. Bella faces decisions about premarital sex and teen marriage. In Breaking Dawn, her struggles expand to include the topic of abortion. Yes, I’ve discussed all of these with her but that doesn’t mean she’s ready to see them played out in her imagination or on screen. I did finally relent and let her read Twilight & New Moon, but I put my foot down on finishing the series. At least for a few years.
However, I was not willing to let her see this movie yet. Mostly, because there is always the chance with a book-based movie for content from later books to insert itself into earlier movies. I wasn’t sure how much of the above subjects would be a part of New Moon. As it turns out, the movie is actually quite accurate to the book. I was pleasantly surprised. We’ll probably let her see it when it comes out on DVD.
That’s called parenting. I see nothing cruel about letting children know some things were not meant for them. When did it become okay to let children make their own decisions. I either stand idly by while my daughter does whatever she wants or risk being called a mean mom and a helicopter parent. I tend to be fairly liberal about a lot of things. I think their dad and I do a pretty good job of finding middle ground—giving our children freedom as appropriate and reining them in when they need guidance.
Why is everything black or white with Mommy Wars? You either breastfeed or you don’t. You can work or stay at home. We draw so many lines about what is and isn’t a good mom. There doesn’t seem to be any recognition that every parent has different children and, therefore, will need to tailor their own decisions. I can’t even use the same parenting twice because I have 3 very unique girls! Is it really so hard to understand each child, situation and parent may need to make decisions unique to their circumstances?
Within minutes of sending the above tweet, my cohort at Mom’s Marbles had 3 different remedy options. Oh, how I love Twitter! I was impressed with my followers, but also a bit jealous of Sarah. Okay, that’s a bad word. I just wish I’d had the opportunities moms have now. (Geez, that makes me sound so old!) When I was nursing Stacia—nearly 12 years ago—I was utterly clueless. I had very little support and no idea where to turn.
On day 5, in a panic that I couldn’t get her to latch, I finally called the lactation consultant from the hospital. She told me that my baby had lost nearly a pound and that I should feed her formula! Luckily, I had read up enough to know that it is very common for babies to lose up to 10% of their body weight. Plus, I’m good at math. You know what is 10% of nearly 10 pounds? That’s right—almost a pound!
Luckily, we eventually made it work but it was such a miserable experience that I nursed her for only 6 months. The first time a tooth popped through those gums? Yeah, I was done! I had an easier experience with Brenia. I managed to breastfeed her for 9 months, almost exclusively. I was back to struggling with Lorelai, but she had so many food allergies that I was forced to keep at it anyway.
We were successful at near-exclusive breastfeeding for about 13 months, but I wish I’d had the support I see available now. From mom to mom forums to Twitter to Facebook friends, we’re more connected than ever before. While no one in my circle was breastfeeding at the time, I’m sure others I knew at a distance were. Moms today have the opportunity to connect like never before.
I’m so grateful for this chance to reach out, ask questions and help others because, while my breastfeeding days are behind me, we have much more coming! (Did I mention she’s almost 12?!)
Thanks to the Juicebox for sponsoring the breastfeeding conversation. Be sure to check out their widget on my left sidebar and take the poll—did you enjoy breastfeeding or not? If you didn’t breastfeed, maybe you’ll relate to the woman in the video who says she was ashamed to bottle feed her baby.
As our oldest approaches the teen years, it has been fascinating to see her interest in some of the same things I was into as a preteen. Today, she is wearing this little number—way too reminiscent of the 80s clothing I donned at her age. It doesn’t stop there, not by a long shot. In her room, you’ll find posters starring her favorite pop idols. Joey McIntyre may have been replaced by Zac Efron and the 90210 crew has been ousted in favor of High School Musical, but the theme is the same!
How cool would it be to have a poster printed of her & her friends, maybe even a collage, to add to her collection? At Digital Room, you can upload your favorite photos to create poster prints. If I can find an awesome photo or come up with a good design, this will be her “something you need” gift under the tree. With the free one I’m receiving for sharing this review, it’s yet another way to lower our Christmas budget. If you could use a poster-sized holiday gift, maybe I can lower your holiday budget a bit too!
To enter for your chance to win, simply leave a comment here sharing what you would like to have printed. You can earn additional entries by:
For your extra entries to be counted, be sure to leave an additional comment directing me to your entry. Only one additional entry per method (i.e. While multiple tweets are appreciated it, only one will count as a drawing entry.) The contest runs until November 20th at 11:59pm edt. One winner will be notified by email on November 21st (as selected by Random.org) and must submit their mailing information within 48 hours or a new winner will be chosen. Open only to residents of the U.S. and cannot be shipped to PO boxes.
Your prize (18×24 poster print on High Gloss or Semi Gloss paper with free UPS shipping) will be awarded in the form of a custom coupon code, redeemable at Digital Room. Prize includes free UPS shipping in the U.S.
I was offered this giveaway from Digital Room, through the U-Printing blog sponsorship program. I am receiving a free poster print in addition to the free product for my readers for hosting this giveaways, but the opinion is 100% real and honest.
When Lorelai first announced she wanted a Marshmallow Party, I blew it off as a toddler whim. However, the idea never went away and she started telling everyone she was “having a marshmallow birthday.” I realized I’d better get creative. Of course, the first thing I thought of was roasting marshmallows. The entire party surrounded the food, but I think I managed to pull everything together into one thematic event. Yes, that’s right, I hosted a Marshmallow Party. How many of you can say that?
We had rice crispy treats (my first gluten free attempt—yum!), marshmallow roasting and a chocolate fountain (for dipping the marshmallows, among other things). We also had bowls of pretty, fruit-flavored marshmallows. That becomes important later.
I was clueless about how to do a cake, all the way up until last week. At first, I thought about just frosting a giant rice crispy treat. It certainly would have been cheaper than a gluten free cake, but I just couldn’t let go of the cake idea. I toyed with the idea of putting a roasting marshmallow on a sheet cake. I considered ways to make the cake look like a marshmallow—white frosting isn’t that hard! In the end, I went with an idea given to me by a pastry-chef friend. I frosted a 2-layer round and added marshmallows to look like a polka-dot cake. Well, I hope that’s what it looked like anyway. Polka dots or alien space ship? You decide!
Now that we use the present poem, buying gifts for holiday and birthday is pretty easy. Fitting our “traditional” bike for a 4-year-old into something you need was a bit of a stretch, I’ll admit. She did open the helmet, though, and that’s a definite necessity! She opened most of her gifts on her actual birthday, but I purchased wrapping paper to match her theme anyway. I found pastel polka dot paper (say that 3 times fast!) in the baby shower section. The colors almost exactly matched the fruity marshmallows!
How do you decorate with marshmallows? Again, I sprung off the idea of marshmallow polka dots. We picked paper goods and balloons in matching colors, but that was about it. If I’d had an unlimited budget, I could have covered much of the house with gossamer or fluffy cotton. I decided pink tablecloths were good enough. Besides, we had a chocolate fountain! What more did I really need?
No birthday party is complete in our household without a costume. The tradition began in the age of princess parties—Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella and Jasmine have all celebrated their birthdays in our home. We have reused Halloween outfits, bridal gowns and recital costumes. This year was no exception. Lorelai’s Halloween butterfly costume became a Marshmallow Princess outfit by simply removing the wings and adding a crown—decked out with marshmallows, of course.
The next morning, Lorelai told me “Lasterday was my best party ever!” The princess has spoken. Best. Party. Ever.
