Just Heather

For such tiny things, babies sure need a lot of stuff! When I first found out I was pregnant, I made about 10 different lists—stuff we need, stuff I want, things to do right away, things to do before she’s born, and on and on. I’m a list maker. Spencer’s a list follower, which works out well. The big list of Stuff We Need was rather large and expensive. It included all required baby paraphernalia (Brenia used a lot of Stacia’s old things and they were not looking fit enough to last a third child) and a van. Yes, that’s right, I’m joining the club.

I think I’m the last mom in the county who does not drive a mini-van or suv. I resisted for so many years. Alas, it seems resistance truly is futile. State law still requires Stacia to be in a booster seat and no way are 3 carseats fitting in the rear of my Cavalier. Rommie’s cute, but she’s not so big. Here’s the one I’ve picked out. Saturns make me feel safe, plus this one comes with a DVD player standard! They call it a Family Utility Vehicle so I can still cling to the hope that I will not, in fact, own a mini-van. I’ll call her Serenity. He’ll call her our FU Van. Either way she’ll be large enough to hold all those kids, and the stuff that comes with them.

It’s really too bad we hadn’t already bought one, though Spencer is holding out for the ’06 model that comes with an iPod line-in for the stereo. We sure could have used it on my Toys R Us shopping spree! I had heard of some great clearance baby deals that coupled with some in-store coupons meant huge savings. Some people actually managed to get highchairs and travel systems for free. Since I was, of course, still asleep when the store opened I wasn’t quite that lucky. I did manage to find a few much needed items for a much smaller than budgeted price.

We are now the proud owners of this highchair, travel crib, carseat/stroller system, and bouncing seat all for the bargain price of $200, which I’d like to point out to you is less than the original price on the carseat system alone. Shopping is fun! Of course, there is still a lot on our list of baby needs, but this helps a lot and gives us more budget room for the smaller things. Is it bad that my list for #3 is longer than my cousin’s list for their first? I’m sure it’s just because she doesn’t fully grasp the concept of how much crap these little things need!

I set the crib up that night because it was the last one and had no box. I wanted to be sure everything was in working order. The kids were so excited. I took it back down and packed it away last night. All day, Brenia has asked “Where’s Rory’s bed?” Having baby stuff around makes it so much more real to a 2-year-old. I’m thinking we need to seriously get to work on that Stuff To Do Before Baby’s Born list. Having the room all setup and ready a month or so early would really help with the adjustment. She’s such a routine child. When something changes, it takes her weeks to get settled—which unsettles the whole household. It will be unsettling enough to suddenly have more kids than I have hands. Anything we can do to speed up her adjustment process ranks high on my list of priorities.

All day yesterday I couldn’t remember if it was Tuesday or Wednesday. Imagine my surprise to wake up this morning and discover it was still Tuesday. The slow moving week has made me realize something, though—school starts in only 37 days! I really think it’s the constant bickering that makes the days drag on. I honestly can’t wait to separate them again. I would never have thought with such an age difference, that they would fight like cats and dogs, but you’ll see I mean that literally from one of yesterday’s “conversations”:

Stacia: (singing) I know you; I walked with you once upon a dream. (repeat. over and over again.)
Brenia: Stop singing that song!
Stacia:: (singing)I know you; I walked with you once upon a dream.
Brenia: Stop it! Hssss!
Stacia: Grrr.

We just returned from the store where I paid—gasp—full price for a Kit Kat. As I handled my checkout on the U-Scan register, I asked Stacia to make sure Brenia didn’t touch anything, as she is wont to do. Not 30 seconds later, I hear “Mo-om, Brenia opened a candy bar!” I yanked the bitten into candy away from the toddler, instructed them both to hold onto my cart and do not move, and proceeded to scan the offending candy.

For some reason, my daughter failed to grasp the concept of why she would not be allowed to eat the candy since her little sister had a bite. Hmm, let me think, should I reward her for ignoring her sister when she was specifically told to watch her? Somehow I’m guessing you know my answer on that one.

So here I sit, eating the candy bar that cost a grand total of:

  • $.56 plus tax
  • 5 straight minutes of tears
  • 2 time-outs
  • 4 red poker chips
  • 1 massive, splitting headache

One more thing via Silly Old Bear since I wrote this message in my head all the way home in effort to drown out the chorus of “no fairs” and “I want candy”:

If, as you live your life, you find yourself mentally composing blog entries about it, post this exact same sentence in your weblog.

Since having children things come out of my mouth that just make me stop and say “what?!” Nevermind the all-too-obvious things we thought we’d never repeat from our parents:

  • I’m not [insert name here]’s mother!
  • Because I said so!
  • Don’t make me count to three young lady…

I’m talking about the things you would never comprehend as a sentence in your pre-parent days that just fly out of my mouth on a regular basis:

  • Who put the Froot Loops in the toilet?
  • Why is there toilet paper in the hallway?
  • Stop licking your sister!
  • Get your foot off the t.v. screen.
  • Don’t put your toes in your mouth!

There are some things about parenting you just can’t even begin to explain to someone without children.

Stacia has always been a bit of a difficult child. Behavior management has been an issue we struggled with for many years. She’s high-strung, temperamental, and—lately—a major smart-ass. I got so fed up with the temper tantrums we were still having at age 4 that I finally took her to a psychologist to find out why the terrible twos seemed to be lasting for years. He was not so helpful. Basically he said that she is a naturally high energy child and the best way to handle her behavior was to put her in high energy activities like swimming and soccer so that the excess energy did not manifest itself in tantrums. I can occasionally notice a difference in behavior during soccer season when she’s busy, but not enough to warrant the $300 opinion.

Last year I stumbled across a pretty harsh behavior management program that worked for a little while. She was flat out grounded with no privileges whatsoever—completely confined to her room—until she earned her way out one level at a time. When she was on the bottom level, it was severe but it seemed to work. For awhile. As school came to an end, the snottiness and outbursts grew. We decided to change tactics.

I put together another plan, focusing more on positive efforts. I bought a set of poker chips with blue being for good behavior and completed chores and red being for poor attitude and behavior. If the red outweighs the blue, she is grounded until chip count the next week. When she has more blue than red, she gets to buy special privileges and treats. Last weekend she spent 12 straight hours doing extra chores in an attempt to get ungrounded. She just squeaked by with enough leftover to buy a goofy red, white and blue headband she’d picked out for the 4th.

I really thought she learned her lesson with the first two weeks and we were going to get somewhere. Not so much. Tonight, she’ll be grounded yet again by around 45 chips! It has been a tough few days, which I’m hopeful can be chalked up to coming off an exciting weekend with too much sugar. I have gently reminded her each day that she needs to be completing her chores to earn blue chips. For this, I was rewarded with super-sized temper tantrums, for which she was rewarded numerous red chips.

I just don’t know what else to do with her. I’m so tired of hearing “no” and “I don’t care” and the infamous “why do you hate me?” anytime I try to get her to do something. We have moments when I think this is going well. Things will be better now. Then there are moments when I wonder what I was thinking when I decided to do this all over again.

We had the gender identification ultrasound today. I’ll post pics over at the baby’s blog as soon as they get scanned. I guess I can start calling the baby her now instead of “the baby” or the infamous “it.”

No disappointment here, only mild amusement at Spencer surrounded by all those girls. The girls both wanted a boy since they each have a sister already. I guess I was sort of hoping for a boy, but only because we’ve had the full name picked out for a hundred years. Well, 8 years anyway.

Now begins the 4 month battle for Lorelai’s middle name. So head on over to hubby’s place and tell him that Lorelai Raine is a beautiful name for our newest little one. Unless you don’t like it, in which case you can shut your trap.

The other day we got Stacia’s 2nd grade teacher assignment in the mail, along with the huge list of supplies and a text book bill. Can this summer zip by any faster?

My posts are so few and far between. I don’t seem to have much time to think about it. I’m not even keeping up very well on my favorite blogs. My days consist of the same old stuff, with the addition of a second child to entertain and summer activities to attend. First we had a week of Girl Scout camp, then a week of soccer camp. Now it’s just day to day things.

I meet some friends at a park every other Thursday. Last week we went to a water playground. The girls had a great time, but I missed a few spots with Brenia’s sunscreen. She had a series of red dots across her cheeks. Oops.

We are also participating in our library’s summer book program. Most of the prizes are free meals at restaurants so I was all about it. Any summer night I don’t have to cook is good with me. It’s just too damn hot to turn on the oven. I’d grill every night except I feel bad asking Spencer to fire up the grill as soon as he gets home every evening. Sure, I could do it myself like a good little feminist, but the gas terrifies me.

We’re not quite halfway through with this summer, and I’m already wishing the extended calendar had passed. Eleven weeks is a long, long time. The holiday weekend should be a nice break. We are going up to my in-laws lake cabin. It’s one of my favorite things to do, and we just don’t go often enough. Mostly I feel bad inviting myself all the time, but it’s so nice to be away for a few days and not have all my day-to-day responsibilities staring me in the face.

I’ll have at least one update before we take off—gotta get my mixmania posted and mailed!

I’ve been out of town for awhile, thus the lack of posting. Maybe later this week I’ll regale you with tales from my hometown visit. For my return post, I’ll share an entertaining tidbit from my two-year-old, as she followed me into the bathroom.

Brenia: You nake.
Mommy: Yes, I’m changing my shirt.
Brenia: You big.

Why are my children constantly pointing out how large I am?