Just Heather

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Dove Ice Cream. All opinions are 100% mine.

One of the things I had lost in years of being a wife & mom was me—and I’m taking it back. It’s all too easy to get caught up in the grocery shopping, shoe tying, dinner prep & laundy—oh, the laundry! Somewhere along the way, I kinda forgot how to be Just Heather. Then, I sorta forgot how to be a good wife.

That’s where the 40×40 list & alphabet dating projects come in. It’s not about stressing myself out to cross off a list. It isn’t even just about having an excuse & motivation to do things I’ve always wanted to do. It’s about trying to figure out who I want to be when I grow up. It’s helping me take the—like riding a carousel like a kid—to relearn who I am again.

From big moments like graduating from college to small ones like eating cotton candy at the carnival, I’m discovering how to be someone other than Stacia, Brenia & Lorelai’s mom or Spencer’s wife. Then, there are the even smaller moments—indulging in a piece of chocolate I bought just for me, curling up with a book in a quiet house or soaking in a hot bubble bath at the end of a long day.

Dove Ice Cream gets mini moments! I am dying to try the miniatures—tiny bits of ice cream wrapped in Dove chocolate. At only 70 calories, I won’t even have to pretend to feel guilty.

They are sponsoring a “My Mini Moment” contest, with the chance to win a mini-getaway to Napa Valley, Spa services for a year or a mini-home makeover. To enter, submit a photo & essay by June 7th.

I think I would choose a mini-home makeover right about now—I’ve been on a declutter & clean kick and I’d love to cap it off with a redesign. What would you choose?

Visit my sponsor: “My Mini Moment” contest

I put a lot of time & effort into creating my 40×40 list. I revised, edited & felt pretty confident that I was publishing my official, permanent, final draft. A couple years into the project, I’m editing it for the very first time.

Blame Casey.

Well, okay—so it’s not all her fault. The original sports-related item stated “Own season tickets to a local sports team—good seats.” And, while that’s still a wish list item, I am changing it to something that is both bigger & more attainable.

The idea started when I added “Attend an Indians game.” to my ever-growing summer fun list. It grew when One 2 One Network offered me tickets to take my family to a Fever game in July. I was thrown completely over the edge when Casey wrote about her Indy 500 experience. I don’t just want to see one, single Indy team.

I want to see them all!

The 40×40 list has officially been edited. I’ve been to many, many Pacer games. I’ve been to a Colts game. I’ve been to the Brickyard. I’ve been to Supercross—10 times! This summer, I’m checking out the Fever. By the end of my 40×40 journey? I’ll add the Indians, the 500 and the Ice.

27. Attend every sporting event in the Indianapolis area at least once.

Here’s something you should know about me first—I’m not majorly into celebrity gossip. I don’t read celeb magazines. I don’t care who is married and who’s getting divorced. I don’t even have a long list of celebrities that fascinate me—just a short, ever-changing list of celebs I’d do if given the opportunity. Wait, I mean..no, that’s exactly what I meant.

I’ve met Gallagher—sort of. I’ve met Paul and Storm. I’ve met Tim Gunn. And, yet, I just couldn’t cross this one off 40×40“>the list.

I wanted one of those Wow! celebrities. You tell people you met so-and-so and hear “Wow! Really?” instead of “Who?” My sister has met Hulk Hogan, Mark Cuban and B.B. King. B.B. King! And, she didn’t even know who he was. Her blues fan brother-in-law was incredibly jealous. For me, crossing this one off meant I needed to see some serious envy!

I just couldn’t figure out how to make that happen. It seemed like one of those wishful thinking entries that I couldn’t plan, control or possibly even do. I was resigned to reaching 40 without crossing this one off the list, even as I challenged MFJ to get me on Rachael Ray. She would totally count!

Enter the beautiful, fabulous Alli Worthington and her completely awesome sidekick Barbara Jones!

A few weeks before Blissdom, these amazing women announced a special appearance by Harry Connick Jr. complete with meet ‘n greet! Harry Connick Jr.? Harry Connick Jr.?! O.M.G. It’s like they designed the entire weekend just for me. I freaking love Harry Connick Jr. Obviously.

Harry Connick Jr.Then, the Saints went to the Superbowl. And, HCJ had to be there! Of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But, did this amazing guy stand us up? Afterall, we were just a small group of women—a drop in the bucket compared to the Superbowl.

Heck no—he’s amazing, remember? Instead of the keynote and Saturday night event they had originally planned, Harry Connick Jr. offered a private, mini-concert & short photo session instead. Short? You mean, I might not get a chance to meet him?

That was not going to work into my plan. I was determined to be one of the lucky bloggers to meet him. Of course, I should never have underestimated the fabulous duo of Alli & Barbara—they found a way to make it work! Harry would greet bloggers in groups of 6 so everyone could have a photo with him.

And yet, I wasn’t sure that would be good enough for my list.

So, I managed to finagle my way to the front of a group. And, to be the first to Harry when it was our turn. Did you expect anything less of me? I had to introduce myself. To officially meet him. To stand next to him. To touch him. (Although, I promised Alli I would be totally appropriate—she felt the need to warn me twice!)

I walked up to him, he took my hand, turned his gorgeous eyes straight to mine and said, “Hi, I’m Harry.”

{swoon}

Me with Harry Connick Jr.

Yes, I totally cropped everyone else out of my picture. Shuddup.

How Yummie Tummie is helping with my 40×40 list:

25. Overhaul my wardrobe. (Alternate: Hire a fashion consultant.)

This is one of the 40×40 items I’m working on for the year. I have come a long way, truly. I think most of my fall/winter wardrobe is pretty good but I still have to make it through the spring & summer before I can cross it off the list. Teaching Lorelai how to take pictures on my phone has been a big key. She sends pictures to MFJ for approval, and I’m starting to pick up on what looks best. I also made huge leaps & bounds earlier this month with one, single article of clothing.

Yummie Tummie poseMy Blissdom roomie won a Yummie Tummie fitting—and returned to our room looking absolutely fabulous! I was super jealous of her new Yummie Tummie and mentioned that to their PR gal when I met her at a cocktail party later that evening. She rustled up a tank top in my size, and it’s changing everything. With my Yummie Tummie, I can shop from the back of my closet or rock my favorite shirts solo instead of under a baggie hoodie.

I got so many comments last weekend about how great I looked. I finally admitted to my mom & sis that it was a bit of an illusion. I’ve stuffed myself into Spanx before (okay, their Target low-end brand) but this is much more comfortable. It’s just like wearing a t-shirt. That hides all your momma bits. It’s like dropping a size just by wearing an undershirt! Of course, this presents an entirely new problem as several of my jeans no longer fit. Are belts in style? I just never know these things—I told you I was a disaster.

I like the idea of being a size smaller, though, especially as I shop for bridesmaid gowns with my sister. (Yep, working on #33 next!) The new Slippie is coming to my fitting with me. In fact, I’m ready to buy one in every style—and my mom wants one too. The price tag no longer scares me—it will be the best $68 I’ve ever spent. But, I will definitely keep my eye out for a coupon! It’s just what I do.


I was given a free Yummie Tummie at Blissdom (because I am super charming after 2 martinis). However, I was not asked to write this review and the opinion is 100% mine.

I’m not much of a traveler, but when I think of places I’d like to visit it tends to be because of something I saw on television. My life is so glamorous! Of course, if I’d included everywhere I’ve seen in a movie on my 40×40 list, there wouldn’t have been room for anything else. I had to be very selective about my travel choices, but Vegas was always on the list!

When Deb invited me to join her Mom Bloggers panel at Affiliate Summit West, I jumped at the chance, especially since Vegas is on the hubby’s 40×40 list too! Combining a few days of vacation travel with a business trip sounded like the most inexpensive way to make it happen. We headed to Las Vegas a few days before the conference, got married by Elvis on our first day there, and spent the rest of the weekend exploring the strip.

Doing Vegas on a budget meant we weren’t planning to spend a ton of money on shows. I checked out a huge list of free things to do in Vegas, and discovered the popular Show in the Sky Parade is in the conference hotel. We managed to stumble on it our first night of the conference. In the meantime, we checked out the lions at MGM, watched the fountains at the Bellagio and saw the Volcano Eruption at the Mirage.

Our most anticipated—and geekiest—part of the weekend was not entirely free. It appeared on the free list because there is no admission fee, but we did have to take a cab off the strip. It was way, way worth it and the rest of our afternoon at the Pinball Hall of Fame Museum cost just one roll of quarters! There were pinball machines from the 70s, 80s, 90s and current models—play was at the original cost.

I played Star Wars pinball, Super Mario pinball, Q-Bert pinball and so many more! I also spent a single quarter playing Asteroids—and had a blast watching the hubby spend $3 trying to beat my high score. If we ever make it back to Vegas, this is definitely on the list again. Of course, a return trip to Vegas is practically guaranteed. The New York roller coaster was on the hubby’s 40×40 but it was closed for repair during our entire stay!

We did get see it, though, along with Ceasar’s Palace, Paris, Flamingo and Harrah’s. It was pretty much our goal to walk through every well known casino. We’re not huge gamblers, but it was tons of fun anyway. We did try our hand at Craps but my only money maker was the sports pit. If only the hubby had given me a larger gambling allowance in there! Next time, maybe he’ll have more faith in my sports knowledge.

Because there will be a next time! (Hopefully soon.)

Considering the fact that I’ve been writing no less than 3 books, and officially added “Write a book” to my 40×40 list, this was another must attend session. Alli sure knows what she’s doing! I am live blogging the events so you’re reading completely unedited notes as we go through the panel. Sometimes I miss things, sometimes I commentate but mostly I just jot down what I can along the way.

Speakers:

Sharyn Rosenblum from Harper Collins, @sharynrosenblum
Kristen Welch, @weareTHATfamily
Alicia Ybarbo, author of Today’s Moms: Essentials for Surviving Baby’s First Year, @todaysmoms
Tsh Oxenrider, author of , @simplemom
Erin Chase, author of The $5 Dinner Mom Cookbook, @5dollardinners

Sharyn: Decide what it is you want to write about, and the supporting materials (photos, etc). Is it book worthy? Publishers are looking for people who are strong writers and have good interaction with their readership.

Once you have your concept, how do you go about developing it and putting together proposal?
Kristen: The proposal was very intimidating. Non-Fiction Book Proposals are, on average, 10-20 pages. She highly recommends Jeff Herman’s Guide to Book Publishers, Editors, and Literary Agents. (specifically the chapter titled Knock-Out Non-Fiction Book Proposals)
Alicia: There are elements you need in a proposal: a pitch letter (1 sheet about yourself & your idea), market comparison (similar books & what makes yours better), author bios, Table of Contents (will take the longest to do since you’re outlining the book without having written it), sample chapter—add photos, include graphics, make it aesthetically pleasing. Make it professional, but interesting enough to get read by an agent or publisher.
Tsh: Used an outline/template to write her proposal, but tried to find ways to make hers personal. Looked at books that would be sitting next to hers on the bookshelf and included information about how hers would be different.
Erin: Read Nonfiction Book Proposals Anybody can Write—and did it.
Alicia: Your first draft is also not going to be your last.
Sharyn: It’s a case by case basis. There isn’t one way to do it but there is one way that’s write for you. Presentation is crucial. Swag is also good—if it’s a cookbook or art related, send a sample along with it. Your blog following is important but the book has to be able to stand on its own. Don’t oversell yourself, but don’t sell yourself short. You should have a reason why your book is a great idea. The editors want to work with people who really want to develop the best book they can.

About the process:
Tsh: Editor asked to see 2 chapters per month. It wasn’t in the contract but it helped to keep on track and stay in touch throughout the process. One of the reasons my editor picked my book is that I already have an eBook on my blog so they knew I was familiar with the writing process.
Kristen: “I really thought once I landed an agent that I was going to be a millionaire, but that is just not happening.” You don’t need an agent. They are a great go between but you can do it on your own.
Alicia: Don’t think you need to go to a big box firm. Meet with smaller, boutique literary agents. Go with your gut & choose a person who will ultimately be the one to take care of you.
Erin: “I really had no clue. I got the proposal thing figured out because there was a book.” Wrote all of hers in 2 months, but had most of the content (recipes) already on her blog.
Sharyn: Ask about the editorial process & schedule in advance. You’ll know what to expect & have the chance to choose someone who will be attentive. Know the kind of book you have & where you want it to land. If you compare yourself to someone or has a similar audience as another book, go to a similar publisher.
Tsh: Found her agent by asking another online friend with a similar published book and asked who she used.
Kristen: Knowing what you want to write is important. Hone in on what you want to write about. Editor told her only 50% of her book could come from her blog. You can’t just make your blog into a book, but you can’t hold back from your blog either. They want you to continue being active on your blog.
Tsh: The blog writing process is different than the book writing process. You can still take your blog posts, but expand on them.

What happens when the book comes out? Do you have to do a lot of publicity or tours to promote it?
Sharyn: Publishers put great efforts into getting into social media but book publicity is still very traditional. We use traditional media—television, radio, print.
Alicia: The publicist can only do so much. You’ll have to do a lot of hustle — connections. Take advantage of your own communities—local media, etc.
Erin: In the middle of publicity for her new book. There is a lot of work involved—interviews, book signings, etc. She actually asked to do the book signings just in locations she would be traveling already. Book reviews, giveaways have been huge since her book came from her blog.
The rest of the session was Q&A. I don’t do great at catching those, and I’m really freaking hungry. Also? My laptop needs to be charged so I’m all done here. If I catch something interesting along the way, I may come back & add it later. Sometimes, I also tweet random quotes.

I am 32 years old and have never been in a limo before. It always looks so glamorous, so on 40×40“>the list it went! When I found out the Elvis wedding package for our vow renewal included a limo ride from the hotel to the chapel, I was cautiously excited. I half expected it be some tacky, cheap “limousine” so I was pleasantly surprised when the white, stretch limo of my dreams arrived to transport us to our (2nd) wedding!

Riding in the limo

Inside the limo—the lights above us change colors!

A pic of our wedding shoes

A pic of our wedding shoes—note the colorful lights

How hot is that?!

How hot is that?!

My first limousine ride

My first limousine ride

2010-01-062Okay, so I guess that should say “our” wedding vows, but when I first put it on the list, we weren’t much of a “we” and still a long way from ready to recommit for life. It’s been a long, hard road but it’s finally paying off. Things are going well; we’re happier than we’ve been in…well, maybe ever.

With our trip to Vegas planned, we decided to combine my #35 with his #36. He wanted to get married by Elvis, and it sounded fun to me. The location and theme were kitschy, but the sentiment and vows were totally serious. I started to teared up during his, and the tears threatened all the way through my own.

Truly, the location and theme were completely made of awesome! We had an absolute blast with the whole thing. Elvis was a lot of fun, the green room featured a picture of Batman & Wonder Woman’s wedding and I got to wear a fancy dress with seriously kick ass shoes. We treated it like a real & actual wedding, which made for even more fun when the 2nd spouse jokes started.

The coolest part of the entire process? It was live broadcast for all the internets to see! For even more hilarity, our friend Brad recorded it and posted it to YouTube before we had even finished our dinner. The webcast was, expectantly, poor quality but the hubby has since uploaded our original copy:


He said:

At 5AM all those years ago, when I first asked you asked you to marry me, I couldn’t have imagined everything we’ve gone through. We’ve not always taken the easiest path and I often don’t know where we’re headed. But I know wherever we end up, I’ll be glad that I’m with you.

Thirteen years ago, I didn’t want to wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m proud of you, of us, and of everything we’ve done together.

I love you, and I still want to spend the rest of my life with you.

She said:

I love you—that much has never changed. As we planned this day, I thought it would be about starting over. We’ve struggled a lot over the years and I was sure a new beginning would help us reconnect. Now that we are reconnecting on our own, I don’t want a new beginning.

I want it all—the beginning, the middle and straight through forever. All of it is a part of who we are and the unit we’ve become. It isn’t the intertwined unit I always imagined but I like the path we’ve found a lot better. We walk side by side as two individuals, committed to actively loving the other.

Thank you for giving me the freedom to learn who I am and your unconditional love as you get to know me over and over again. Now, I recommit myself to knowing and loving you. In front of God, Elvis and the Internets, I promise to support your passions, encourage your dreams and walk beside you until the end of our days.

Then

Then

Now

Now