Just Heather
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Timing is Everything
Dec 29, 2005 | Filed Under: Mommyhood, Sick & Tired

Any random night this month:

10:14pm Baby nurses
10:32pm Baby falls asleep
12:15am Try desperately to wake baby to nurse before bedtime
12:28am Realize baby thinks 10:30 is bedtime
2:36am Nurse baby
2:48am Baby & Mommy asleep
2:56am Put baby in her crib & go back to bed
3:24am Sick child wakes in a coughing fit
3:25am Find cough syrup
3:28am Realize child also has a fever
3:29am Find Ibuprofen
3:32am Wait for fever to start dropping
3:38am Check temperature
3:46am Check temperature
3:52am Check temperature
3:53am Tuck child in bed (usually mine!)
3:55am Fall asleep
4:29am Nurse baby
4:41am Baby & Mommy asleep
4:46am Put baby in her crib & go back to bed again
6:38am Nurse baby
6:56am Baby & Mommy asleep
7:02am Put baby in her crib
7:03am Consider staying awake since Stacia will be up soon
7:04am Back to bed
7:48am The day begins

Last night:

10:24pm Nurse baby
10:42pm Baby falls asleep
12:14am Baby awakes
12:15am Get excited about the possibility of one last nursing before bedtime
12:16am Attempt to nurse baby
12:24am Give up
12:25am Tuck baby into bed
7:14am Nurse baby
7:15am Realize this is the first time since last night
7:29am Baby & Mommy asleep
7:32am Put baby in her crib
7:33am Consider staying awake for the day since the baby has a doctor’s appointment at 9:30 anyway
7:34am Remember how much sleep this month has brought, laugh & go back to bed
9:03am Wake frantically wondering why everyone in the house is still asleep
9:04am Wake hubby with instructions to get the baby ready
9:05am Realize he has no idea what that means
9:06am Throw baby’s clothes at hubby on the way to the bathroom
9:07am Throw on sweats, brush teeth & hair
9:11am Realize deodorant would be a nice addition
9:12am Start van
9:13am Grab pacifier as Daddy buckles baby into her seat
9:16am Leave house
9:32am Sign into doctor’s office-close enough!

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Guess How Much I Love You
Dec 23, 2005 | Filed Under: Fashion Disaster, Love Him, Sibling Love

Actual Conversations I have had with family members:

Me: I really don’t want to look like the frumpy big sister with all those kids when Robbie gets married next year. I’m going to take Lexie shopping and have her pick out something for me.
Mom: Oh, good!

Me: I finally got the girls to sleep at the same time this afternoon.
Him: That’s good.
Me: Yeah, except I didn’t take a nap like I’ve been trying to do for the last 6 weeks. I showered instead.
Him: Um, okay.
Me: So tonight when I’m complaining about how tired I am, remind me that I smell good.
Him: Right!

Her: Hello?
Me: Are you sure you can wear this vest with a hoodie because I look like a Grade-A Moron?
Her: Um, hi.
Me: Sorry, hi, sis. I look stupid.
Her: That outfit flatters everyone. I’m sure you look cute and you just don’t know it because…you just don’t know.
Me: Are you saying I’ve never looked cute before so I wouldn’t know it when I see it?
Her: Well, not that rude, but yeah!

Me: Are you mad because my celebrity list is so long?
Him: No, I just don’t think you could ever get a celebrity.

Feel the love, baby!

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The Magic of Christmas
Dec 22, 2005 | Filed Under: Hectic Holidays, Quotable Kids

Me: Here comes Stacia; make sure you hide her present so she doesn’t see it until Christmas.
Her: Stacia! Look what I got you for Christmas!

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I Miss Sleep
Dec 21, 2005 | Filed Under: Sick & Tired

Just when the baby was getting close to sleeping at night, middle kid starts waking up every night. Lorelai was down to one middle of the night nursing, which is so much better than getting up every 2 hours. Brenia is sick and has been waking up around 1am for the past 3 nights, and then occasionally again at 5 or 6. Combine that with Lorelai’s 4am feeding and I’m back to getting up every 2 hours.

I can’t believe how utterly exhausted I am. I guess the 1 or 2 nights of waking only once tricked my body into believing it could start sleeping again. This week I am dragging like never before. Not a good time for me to be sitting around doing nothing on my ever-expanding to-do list.

Hey, do you know that if the entire population of China walked by, the line would never end because of the rate of population increase? That’s my list—every Chinese person in the world.

I guess I should turn this computer off and get started. If only I could take a nap first!

5
Drip, Drip, Drop
Dec 19, 2005 | Filed Under: Household CEO, Sick & Tired

Here I sit minding my own business, typing out an email to my dear friend Chelle when I suddenly hear a persistent “drip, drip, drip.” The usual suspect is sick as a dog and has not left my side since she woke up at 7am. Our other mess maker has been at school for hours. Something is clearly amiss. I look up to find water dripping from the ceiling.

That is when I remember that I ran bleach water to wash the bathtub & toys in anticipation of finally fixing the cracks that began months ago. I know you are thinking I left the water running—it was my first thought too even though I distinctly recalled turning it off. I dash up the stairs to find I had not gotten that far along in my memory loss. Apparently the crack has just reached catastrophic proportions.

At least it’s bleach water so I shouldn’t have to concern myself with mold in the drywall. I won’t even begin to worry about it bleaching the carpet. The munchkins have destroyed it beyond all recognition already. I only need to worry about the ceiling caving in around us. Well, at least I won’t be here to see it.

I have to go pick up Brenia’s antibiotic. They’re thinking pneumonia since Stacia had it last week, and I’m patting myself on the back for having saved myself a trip to the doctor by having Brenia checked out then. Though, with the way she has been yelling everything today I’m guessing we have an ear problem too. Either way the drugs should kill it by Christmas.

Maybe I’ll come home and the ceiling will dry and be all better. *la, la, la* I can’t hear you!

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Dude, where’s my lunch?
Dec 15, 2005 | Filed Under: Checking Out, Love Him, Picky Eater

Today, for the second day in a row, I actually remember that I, myself, need to eat lunch when I feed my little ones. I reach into the fridge to grab my leftover chicken noodles only to discover they are nonexistent. Apparently, he decided he was more worthy of the meal than I even though I just spent $22 on 15 meals to stock the freezer for him.

Never mind that it trashed my rule of “nothing over a dollar” when I did my grocery shopping this week, thereby completely throwing off my savings calculations for the month. Never mind that since I knew he would take them to lunch every day I didn’t bother to get a single meal I would actually eat myself. Never mind that I am a nursing mother and in desperate need of nutrition. By all means, eat what you like. I’ll just grab something else.

Except we all know that once my original idea went out the window I got distracted and forgot to eat again. (Look! Something shiny!) I guess I could just be happy with today’s news that I’ve lost 25 of my 34 baby pounds. Not that my failure to eat lunch really has anything to do with it. I generally make up the calories with a giant bag of potato chips or these yummy, generic oreo cookies. Not to mention the great deals I’m finding on Christmas candy, which—let’s face it—will never actually last long enough to get in the stockings!

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Who Ya Gonna Call?
Dec 15, 2005 | Filed Under: Quotable Kids

Chelle was just talking about the faerie at her house last week, and I giggled remembering the “it wasn’t me” refrains when I was growing up. The “not me” phenomenon has come back to haunt me. We now have a goost at our house—commonly referred to as a ghost by those over the age of three.

The Goost stole the baby’s pacifier. The Goost kept her from taking a nap. The Goost colored on the kitchen floor, and The Goost spilled milk on the kitchen table. So far, The Goost appears to be a friendly—albeit messy—ghost, but we’re not taking any chances. Stacia is becoming an expert Goost-shooer to keep it is safe for Brenia to go to the potty. That process is hard enough on its own.

If The Goost sticks around much longer, we just may need a bigger house. We’re starting to get a bit cramped as it is.

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If You Make Fun of Me 13 or 14 More Times
Dec 12, 2005 | Filed Under: Love Him, Media Matters, My Biz

Go ahead. Make fun of my shopping habits, but I’ve saved $6000 so far this year on my grocery bill. That may not buy a house, but it means the difference between staying at home with my three girls and getting a part-time job.

Rachael alerted me to the fact that my picture was included in an article on The Onion. Go figure. I get interviewed on national television, compared to Michael Jordan in the Chicago Tribune, and picked up as a syndicated article by the AP but it takes appearing on the front page of The Onion to impress him.

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