Just Heather
1
Pre-empted again
Mar 04, 2005 | Filed Under: Fashion Disaster, Household CEO, Media Matters

Freaking real news. If I could relax and use the time to get more prepared it would be fine, but no. I have to be neurotic. And procrastinatey. So while I have now been rescheduled once again, I’m still not ready. As soon as I clean up one mess, I have to go clean up the mess she made while I was cleaning up the first mess. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I need a plan. I’m bad at plans. I’m super-disorganized. Just ask anyone. I’d love to say that I’m making progress, except I make it a policy to be honest. Yesterday, as soon as I found out they wouldn’t make it today, I promptly took a nap—which I desperately needed since I haven’t been able to sleep much this week.

When I woke up, you’d think I would have continued with the original plan of cleaning the kitchen and clipping my coupons. Nope. I took my little one for this:

Read the comments.
1
Procrastination Queen
Mar 02, 2005 | Filed Under: Fashion Disaster, Household CEO, Media Matters

I knew as soon as I was given 2 extra days to prepare that I wouldn’t use them. Now here I am with 2 days left and no closer to being ready than I was on Monday. While hubby may have been able to cross a few items off his list, mine seems to be growing like the Chinese population. “That’s my list — every Chinese person in the world.”

  • clip and sort coupons
  • organize pantry—in case they actually want to watch me put groceries away too
  • organize fridge and freezer—in case I buy cold stuff
  • put away lingering Christmas decorations (shutup.)
  • organize desk and office
  • move fridge to clean orange juice monster spilled today
  • find fabric to cover valance we’re making in the kitchen
  • deliver remaining Girl Scout cookies—both so I can get paid and to get them out of my dining room
  • sweep, mop, vacuum, and clean bathrooms convince hubby that Merry Maids would be cost effective
  • iron new outfit
  • try on new outfit again to make sure it compensates for the camera’s extra 10 pounds
  • decide what to serve for lunch
  • find out what time zone 10 a.m. means
  • have last minute freak-out preparation session with my personal, marketing consultant
  • enjoy my pre-birthday celebration with family
Read the comments.
3
Miss Independence
Feb 25, 2005 | Filed Under: Fashion Disaster, Quotable Kids

We’re learning to use the potty at Casa de Sokol. And by we, I mean her. What it is about toddlers that makes them have to strip completely to sit on the toilet? I could almost understand it this morning, as she was wearing feety pajamas. That pretty much has to come off altogether. What confused me was her insistence that the bracelet she insisted on donning only minutes before must come off in order for her bottom to attach itself to the potty.

Fast-forward a few minutes. No pee, but we must flush anyway. (By the way, honey, as this is a regular occurrence, you might want to prepare for an increase in our water bill!) Now it’s time to put on our diaper, but she’s a big girl now and big girls don’t lay down to get dressed. This would be much easier if we had moved onto pull-ups, but momma hit a big sale a few months ago and stocked on up size 5s. She’ll make due for another week or so.

As long as she’s already naked, might as well take the opportunity to get dressed:

Mommy: Time to get dressed, baby.
Brenia: No baby. Ben-a.
Mommy: Oh, sorry. Time to get dressed, Brenia.
Brenia: No, I ty.
Mommy: Fine. Here are your clothes.
Brenia: No. Dis one!
points to something else—anything else, just so long as I didn’t choose it.
Mommy: Okay, here.
Brenia: I ty!
Mommy: Yes, you try, baby.
Brenia: No! Ben-a.
Mommy: Okay, Brenia, you try.
Almost too-small shirt gets stuck on almost too-large head.
Brenia: Hope!
Mommy fits shirt over head, and proceeds to help with arms.
Brenia: No! I ty.
Shirt on. Next comes the pants.
Brenia: Hope!
Mommy sliding legs into pants.
Brenia: No! I ty.
Pants are successfully pulled up.
Mommy: Here’s your sweater, Brenia. (I’m a quick study!)
Brenia: I ty!
Mommy: Yes, of course.
Sweater successfully donned.
Brenia: Hope! Butt!
Mommy buttons sweater.

I haven’t tackled shoes and socks just yet, but imagine the scene above with lots of kicking. Lather, rinse, repeat daily until desired independence is reached.

Read the comments.
3
The Fashion Police
Jan 20, 2005 | Filed Under: Fashion Disaster, Hectic Holidays, Sibling Love

In all the madness of my Christmas drama, I completely forgot to relay fun bits from the holiday season. Today, I was putting on my new favorite sweater. The story surrounding it is nice and I am here to share.

My family and I get up the morning after Christmas, load into the car, and drive the 3 hours to my parents’ house. We were supposed to be there just long enough to drop off the dog and unload their presents before heading to my grandparents’ house. My little sister asks if we are opening our presents before we leave for lunch. Um, no. We have like 5 minutes.

“Oh. I really wanted to give you your present before we leave.”

Five minutes later, Hayley looks me up and down. “I really want to give your present now.”

“Ooh, new clothes!”

“I didn’t say that; I just can’t wait.” Right.

Enter my other sister. Hayley turns to her and says “Don’t you think I should give Heather her present now?”

Lexie looks me up and down.

“Fine. Just give me my present so I can change clothes for the fashion police.”

They insist I looked fine, but gave me my present anyway. It was a beautiful, soft off-white sweater. Which I was promptly instructed to put on even though I looked “fine.” Then we left for lunch with the family—chili.

You’re thinking this story ends badly, but—a true Christmas miracle—I did not spill anything! I was looking gorgeous when my grandfather announced we were each doing family pictures. That was when it was pointed out that we were all wearing the same sweater. Not the same sweater—because that would be difficult—but 3 different colors of a similar style.

Mom used to dress us alike when we were little. When did it become cool again?

Read the comments.
1
Confessions of a stay at home mommy
Oct 28, 2004 | Filed Under: Fashion Disaster, Household CEO, Making Connections, Mommyhood

I loved Lauren’s game (if you knew me in real life, what do you think you would know?), but since I have something like two readers I didn’t quite think I could pull it off. Instead, I decide to play True Confession a la genuine:

  1. I actually love the days when I don’t get anything done because little one insists on being held all day.
  2. If you ask me to bring snacks, I will never say no.
  3. I take a nap at least twice a week.
  4. If you say 69—in any context—I will giggle uncontrollably.
  5. If you think I don’t like you, you’re probably right.
  6. I didn’t forget what you asked me to buy; it just wasn’t on sale.
  7. We have enough food in this house to last at least 2 months; I will go shopping anyway.
  8. I am fashion illiterate.
  9. Sometimes, when I call “not it” as hubby gets home, I really did know she was dirty before he walked in the door.
  10. I do, in fact, think my kid is smarter than your kid.
Read the comments.
7
Wonder Woman Underoos
Mar 02, 2004 | Filed Under: Fashion Disaster

I remember Wonder Woman Underoos. I even had some awesome red Wonder Woman boots too! I was all of 4 at the time. Now I am 20-something but, if I choose, I can once again wear Wonder Woman Underoos! The other night I went to Target, stopped by the lingerie section and there they were in all their grown-up glory- underoos. Racks and racks of adult-size women’s panties with superhero logos on the front!

Read the comments.
Newer »