Just Heather

I have a safe haven. A place to hide escape when the house is crazy, my head is pounding, and my every thought is threatening to explode in screams. There is silence—well, muffled noise outside the bathroom door. There is no one hanging on my legs. No one sits on my lap. I’m not asked to find something I don’t own, fix something I didn’t break, or turn on something I don’t want to hear. When they realize I’m “missing,” the inevitable search begins. Mom? Mom? Mom, where are you?! When the panic sets in, it’s time to reveal my position.

It’s not often I get to go there. I rarely make it my throne alone. When I do manage to get into the bathroom all by myself, I lock the door and stay way longer than necessary. Luckily for me, current circumstances allow the opportunity for escape quite frequently. I think all mother’s need a safe haven of some sort. It’s not a retreat, by any means. We are often doing something that we would have to do anyway, but the blessed minutes of peace make the chore a bit more tolerable. When we were kids, the sibs and I could never figure out why Mom wouldn’t answer us when she was in the laundry room. I get it now, Mom. Luckily for her, 4 kids produced lots of laundry.

I will admit to being part-geek, though I don’t come close to my Super!Geek husband. I’m pretty sure the Countdown to Serenity in my head coupled with my intense love of Star Wars—and the fact that I own a $200 lightsaber—qualifies me as half-geek. Our poor kids didn’t have a chance. Need proof, as all good geeks do?

We watched this really funny movie. It was rated E for Everyone!” ~Stacia

Here I sit, wallowing in self-pity, doing nothing when suddenly it’s mail time! What normally consists of bills and junkmail, today had the added addition of presents! Well, more accurately a prize. Adelle ran a fun play-along contest for The Today Show’s Hometown Wedding. Somehow I managed to guess nearly every aspect correctly and won. Dell sent me Betty Crocker’s Easy Slow Cooker Dinners from my Amazon wishlist—a gift to warm my heart and soul!

Maybe now my family will be able to eat this week. Cooking isn’t nearly so taxing when you can toss it in a crockpot and walk away. The timing on this one couldn’t be better. The meetings and activities are in full force starting this week. Tonight it is a Brownie Leader meeting. Tomorrow is PTO. Thursday Stacia has church choir, and Friday she’ll go to soccer practice. Somewhere in the middle of all that I have to find time to get well and hit the post office, bank, and grocery store. Cooking would have definitely gone by the wayside this week.

I already found a few recipes I want to try. Pizza Fondue—who wouldn’t love that?— Swiss Steak, Pot Roast, Stroganaff, and Pulled-Pork Fajitas. I’m not one for Mexican-style dishes, but “it’s always fun to pull your own pork.” I’ll have to check the freezer for what’s on hand and put some of these together this week. Not today though. They’re on their own tonight.

I think it should be completely illegal to get sick when you are already pregnant. It’s just plain not fair to have tons of shit to deal with for 9 months straight and still get the nastiest cold ever! I woke up Sunday morning feeling completely clogged and scratchy. Now a fever has replaced my voice. There’s just too much to do for me to be napping all day. Not to mention a toddler who wouldn’t allow it anyway.

I think I am mostly prepared as far as stuff goes. I’ve sure spent a lot of money. Serenity was a big key—and the biggest expense—in going from 2 to 3 children. I least I’m no longer stressing over how to get my baby home from the hospital with her big sisters.

She has no room to come home to, but even if that didn’t get done it wouldn’t be a big deal. It’s not like she’ll really use it at first anyway. I’ll nurse so a cradle right next to me is so much easier than getting up every hour or two and walking across the house. I wanted it done by the end of this month, even though I’m not due for 7 or 8 weeks, to help the girls get used to the transition. Right now the “nursery” is a combination office/storage room/battleground or something like that.

I had hoped to get some work done on it yesterday. And by that I meant I’d sit on the bed and tell him where to put things. Instead I camped out on the couch right after Stacia’s soccer game until someone mentioned dinner. After which, I promptly returned to my horizontal position. We only have 1 soccer game this weekend so maybe something will get done then. In the meantime, I’ll lay around, do nothing, and whine about how nothing is getting done. It seems to be working well for me.

Maybe it will give me some time to surf around and find my Mixmania sender. I received an interesting mix. It fits well with the driving theme considering the name I chose for my new vehicle. It’s all classical and operatic—very serene.

This mix forces me to—once again—admit my musical ineptitude. I don’t know a single song on it. That should make tracking down its originator a bit difficult, though I’m guessing not many people went classical. I’m looking forward to finding the track list. I used to listen solely to classical on study days in college. It was the only way to focus on what I was doing. Lyrics were too distracting and silence only allowed dorm sounds in. In my daily life now, I rarely have cause to focus in the same way so I’ve not listened to much classical since Brenia would only fall asleep to Beethoven’s Moonlight Sendada.

The theme for Mixmania this time around was “Driving” and I chose to take it quite literally. Most of the songs are, in fact, about driving or cars. I have thrown a few personal driving choices into the mix. Also, I sincerely hope I do not offend the recipients delicate sensibilities, as driving brings my potty mouth out in full force. The songs greatly represent the sailor in me. I am hopeful that she was too busy laughing to be offended as the genre tends toward comedy. Here they are, not necessarily in order as I have lost the actual mix (I’ll update it as soon as hubby can point me in the right direction):

  • Adam SandlerOde to My Car
    This was in honor of the ghetto car I was driving at the time. It has since been dumped for my new Serenity.
  • Barenaked LadiesPinch Me
    As much as I truly love my life there are times when I’d love to get in the car and find that perfect time of year somewhere far away from here.
  • EaglesHotel California
    I don’t know. Maybe it struck me as the end destination.
  • Veggie TalesCheeseburger Song
    If Veggie Tales or JoJo’s Circus is not playing in my car, it’s not a real road trip. I figured a song about a drive-thru at least fit the theme.
  • CakeStickshifts and Safety Belts
    Um, self explanatory.
  • Beach BoysFun, Fun, Fun
    Though I never had a T-Bird, my daddy would take my keys away if I had too much fun (and he found out about it). 😉
  • The PlaymatesLittle Nash Rambler
    A Dr. Demento classic. “Beep beep. Beep beep. The horn went beep, beep, beep.”
  • MaxamillionFat Boys
    Busted—this is a carry over from my Summer Mixmania, but as I mentioned then it was our official road trip song so it definitely belongs here too.
  • DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh PrinceParents Just Don’t Understand
    “Drive fast—speed turns me on!”
  • Heywood BanksWiper Blades
    A Bob & Tom classic, and it has me laughing out loud every single time. Probably because it’s so me—I have a bit of a habit of leaving minor details like new wiper blades until after I really need them.
  • Nelly FurtadoI’m Like a Bird
    I guess I’ve got a bit of an escapist theme going on here.
  • PinkGet This Party Started
    I can go for miles, if you know what I mean.
  • The FirmStar Trekkin’
    Another Dr. Demento favorite: “Only going forward cuz we can’t find reverse!”
  • VengaboysVenga Bus
  • Merideth BrooksBitch
    Not at all about driving like the rest. This is just one of those songs that makes me want to roll down the windows, put my foot to the floor, and sing out loud.
  • Todd YohnOrange Barrels
    Perhaps the biggest reason for my on the road potty mouth.
  • Crystal Waters
    Gypsy Woman (She’s Homeless)

    When I was younger, my sibs and I made up our own little song to the chorus for family road trips—Gotta go pee, gotta go now—which we sang repeatedly until Dad would finally stop and let us go. We had another great song—an original!—about ice cream that got us to the Dairy Queen drive-thru every, single time. It may have had something to do with the fact that not a one of us could carry a tune in a bucket.
  • Queen—Bohemian Rhapsody
    Every time I hear this song, I just can’t help picturing Wayne and crew jamming in the bug. Party on, Wayne. Pary on, Garth.
  • Brak and Freddie Prinze Jr.Highway 40
    I picked a different version than he did because I think this one is much funnier.

Both girls love to make liars out of me, and apparently this one wants to join in the fun. As soon as I revealed her position to the world (okay, the 3 of you who read this), she just had to move. Not that it’s a bad thing. Last night things just felt funny the way she kept shifting and turning. I think she’s sitting straight now, though I’m hopeful she’s headed the right direction. I can feel her pummeling me along the center of my stomach now, rather than across the way she’s been doing for months. I used to be able to feel her hands using me as a punching bag on one side and her soccer kick on the other.

Of course, this will present new problems. I haven’t had my asthma difficulties with this pregnancy, and now I have figured out that it is because she was not near my lungs. Well, she’s now firmly planted between them so I can enjoy the breathing problems I have endured in the past. Doc will check in two weeks to determine if it’s her head or legs keeping me from inhaling oxygen. A few weeks after that, we’ll have our final ultrasound to schedule her birthday.

I’ll just keep my fingers crossed this move isn’t in anticipation of an early arrival. I would love to not be pregnant anymore, but I would also love to have a full grown, healthy baby. Besides, her room is not even close to ready yet.

A new addition to the nerve pinching problem—purple legs! I was on my feet a lot on Sunday so I wasn’t at all surprised when my feet swelled and started to hurt. The real concern was when Stacia freaked out because they were bright red and turning the corner to purple. So I proceeded to sit back with my feet propped up for the much of the night.

Yesterday, it happened again. Only this time I hadn’t spent 4 hours standing up while we cleaned out the garage. No, I simply walked from my car to the pharmacy counter and back again. By the time I had walked from the parking lot, to my doctor’s office my feet were dark red again. That’s what caused me to mention it to my doc. Hey, as long as my purple legs are here, she might as well check them out.

Doc believes it is due to the position of the baby. We think she is sitting sideways instead of head up. This is causing the nerve pinching and restriction of blood flow to the lower half of my body. The solution? Sit back and put my feet up. Right. You have, in fact, met my toddler? Not to mention Brownies, Soccer (hey, I can sit for that—too bad my chair doesn’t have one of those handy footstools), and my regular household management duties.

This is painful and a bit of an inconvenience, but not really a problem. Except for that B-word she mentioned. She’s hopeful that the baby is simply working on heading down instead. This is quite a bit earlier than even I had anticipated, though the doctor doesn’t seem overly concerned. She is just planning to keep checking her position and see another ultrasound in 6 weeks. At that time, I’ll have the birthdate for our baby. It will be scheduled, but hopefully just for inducing as planned.

My biggest concern in this is that her size is deceptive. She’s already measuring a week ahead, but if the measurements aren’t actually getting her length she could be a lot bigger. Of course, that’s just yet another reason for the forth ultrasound. My doctor seems to be taking all this rather non-chalantly so I’m trying not to concern myself with the maybes of this. Instead, I’ll put my feet up and let him pamper me. Ha! Last night my feet turned bright red while I washed his clothes, fixed his breakfast sandwich, and packed his lunch. He did, however, toss his extra pillow at me when we got to bed last night. I feel so spoiled.

Oh, Serenity, how do I love thee. Pictures to come, but first cool stuff about my new car:

  • Whiny toddler no more—the DVD player is standard!
  • I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with 12 cup holders in a 7 passenger vehicle, but I’m sure we’ll figure it out.
  • The iPod line-in means he can quit messing with my presets!
  • Even though some jerk already scratched my door in the parking lot, she’s so beautiful.
  • I’m sure we’ll be restocking it soon, but the fact that the first aid kit comes ready made for my children is pretty cool.
  • Theoretically, I will never hear “I’m [insert temperature complaint here]!” again since she can reach her own damn climate controls.
  • I may now own a soccer mom mobile, but if you even think of calling her a van she’ll say FU!