Just Heather

Fifteen years ago today, I married my best friend — and it nearly destroyed us.

We spent years trying to be everything to one another. But when you rely on just one person for everything, you lose yourself a little bit. One of the greatest things I’ve ever done for my relationship with Spencer is find girlfriends.

I have friends to hang out with when we just need a break from one another. I have mom friends who get the day in and day out of my life. I have friends who make me laugh or let me cry. I have friends who support my relationship or let me complain about it.

My friends helped me find myself far better than my husband ever could. Because they were separate from me. Spencer and I are just so entwined after 15 years. Getting married young, having a baby a few months later — we grew up together. And, for awhile there, we grew apart.

The key was remembering we’d always wanted to grow old together. No matter who my friends are, what I’m doing or where I am, at the end of the day, Spencer is still the one I want to hear my stories. He’s not my best friend anymore, but we’re so much better for it. Oh, we’re still friends — talking, laughing, spending time together — but he’s so much more now.

Instead of trying to be everything I ever needed in a friend, he can be my love, my life, my soul mate. This man? He’s my heart and soul. He’s the link to my youth. He’s the dream for my future. He’s the one I want now and always.

Even after 15 years.

When we first started planning our alphabet dating ideas, L was one of the first things we decided on—laser tag. But, when the time came and the opportunity to go to Chicago came up, it didn’t take much to get me to change my mind. There’s always T…

And, I love Chicago.

I also love the hubby, despite his oddities. Or, maybe because of them. I don’t know. Anyway, that kind of became the theme of the weekend—Love Me Anyway. I drug him along to a blogging conference, introduced him to strangers and forced him to be—gasp!—social. He made me sit through a 5 hour geek-a-thon.

Okay, so Paul and Storm were heavily featured, but it was called W00tstock and included serious geekery I didn’t understand in the slightest. I just keep telling him I’m not a real geek. I only speak it, on occasion. But, I did enjoy my weekend.

It’s nice to take a peek at what he’s into now & then. I worried it would reinforce our differences, but we were pretty relaxed about it and just let one another be. That’s truly been our saving grace all along.

He’s always been fabulous about letting me be who I am and do what I need to figure it all out. I need a way to unwind after a long day? He’ll handle a load of laundry while I take a bubble bath. I need to vent with a girlfriend? He’ll put the kids in bed while I have a cosmo with MFJ.

I don’t always get him. I don’t always agree with him. I don’t always want to do the things he does. But, I do always love him and recognize that it’s important to him do these things anyway—with or without me.

We just need to find more ways to be who we are together.

I love a guy in a fedora, but my guy in a fedora leaves me speechless. Happy Wordless Wednesday!



I don’t think he gets it.