Just Heather

Genuine was talking about his favorite t.v. shows as a kid (and showing his age, I might add!) I grew up on classic 80s sitcoms. My sibs and I never missed an episode of Saved By the Bell. That might be why we seem to be the only people on earth who noticed that they all went to junior high in Indiana, but somehow moved the entire high school to California? I guess we’re not much of a market here in Redneckville.

Maybe it’s because my formative years were spent with TGIF tv that I am such a sucker for a happy ending. Every single one of life’s problems can be solved in under 30 minutes. If it’s a really, really big problem with life-changing consequences I might give you an hour to work around to the sappy hug just before the credits.

Genuine solved mine in 30 seconds. I was beginning to feel old when my old favorites started appearing on Nick at Night. Then he made me feel all better by talking about a bunch of shows I’ve never seen (and some I’ve never even heard of). I don’t even have to use the “young at heart” line. I’m just plain young. It’s all relative, you know.

Today was GREAT!!!!!!! at school Becuss…I was GREAT Mrs. Cox Sead I have Gral Souats!!!!!!! Tomorow!!!!!!!

Everything hits at once here at casa de Sokol. Little one’s birthday is in 20 days. But first comes the wonderfully fabulous (read:free) family trip to Florida for Thanksgiving. Somehow I have to find out how to get to Best Buy and Bath & Body Works on Black Friday for the super duper sales. Then comes Christmas with all it’s travel-to-7-houses-in-3-days glory. 12 days later, another birthday.

For the next week or so, I’ll be super busy packing and shopping. I like to be done by December, but it doesn’t look like that will happen this year. One because I’m just so busy packing (and by that I mean I’ve had a suitcase in my room for 2 weeks). Two, because I’ll be out of town on my absolute favorite shopping day of the year. Do you think the happiest place on earth will have Black Friday sales? And, finally, because no one will do the freaking name draw thing so I don’t know who I’m buying gifts for, much less what they want.

I love the holidays. Truly, I do.

When you are going to be late, it is wise to call your wife immediately. This means when the clock strikes whatever hour you are to leave, and you find yourself still at work pick up the phone. Do not wait until the time which you normally arrive home to call and tell your wife you will be late. This would be obvious since you are not yet home.

By this time, your wife may already have:

  • opened the garage door for your convenience
  • lit candles in anticipation of your homecoming
  • hired a sitter for an hour so that she could greet you proper

Okay, so maybe I didn’t do all those things, but I could have!

I don’t watch much tv—really, I don’t. More accurately, I don’t let the tv rule my life. I do have quite a few regular shows that I record and watch when I can. I currently record and watch: CSI, CSI Miami, CSI New York, Crossing Jordan, West Wing, Desperate Housewives, Joey, and ER. That’s, what, less than 8 hours of tv? I’m sure I fall below average.

Unless we have to factor in sports. During NBA playoffs, I’m pretty much a slave to my television. Football season is easier—one Sunday a week I can work around. This week though we get the Monday Night Football game. I thought this would only present a slight problem. We’d have to watch an hour of the game from the smaller tv upstairs while CSI Miami records.

We don’t have a cool DVR that lets you record and watch something else. That would be too easy.

And—thanks to stupid network wars—it gets even worse tonight. CSI is airing a “super-sized” episode tonight from 8:30-10:00. Okay, so we watch halftime from upstairs too. No big deal. Until NBC decides to do a stupid crossover with some random show I don’t watch. Like you can solve a crime in Vegas without Gary Dourdan.

Here comes the bigger problem. To see the “To be continued” from last night’s Crossing Jordan, we have to tune in from 8-9 tonight. See how they go about screwing me?

Stacia: Remember when Brenia broke her leg?
Me: yeah…?
Stacia: How did that happen again?
Me: She and Mommy fell down the stairs together, remember?
Stacia: And you landed on her, right?
Me (trying not to let the guilt hit, again): Unfortunately, yes.
Stacia: And you’re huge!
(Mommy looks very hurt here)
Stacia: What?! I don’t mean you’re fat! But you are huge.

Thanks for clearing that up, baby girl.

I loved Lauren’s game (if you knew me in real life, what do you think you would know?), but since I have something like two readers I didn’t quite think I could pull it off. Instead, I decide to play True Confession a la genuine:

  1. I actually love the days when I don’t get anything done because little one insists on being held all day.
  2. If you ask me to bring snacks, I will never say no.
  3. I take a nap at least twice a week.
  4. If you say 69—in any context—I will giggle uncontrollably.
  5. If you think I don’t like you, you’re probably right.
  6. I didn’t forget what you asked me to buy; it just wasn’t on sale.
  7. We have enough food in this house to last at least 2 months; I will go shopping anyway.
  8. I am fashion illiterate.
  9. Sometimes, when I call “not it” as hubby gets home, I really did know she was dirty before he walked in the door.
  10. I do, in fact, think my kid is smarter than your kid.

Okay, guys… here’s a pop quiz for you. You and your wife have a “discussion” that ends with you falling asleep as you ignore her question, waking up, and heading straight to bed alone. Do you:

a.) wake up the next morning and pretend it never happened.
b.) wake up the next morning and storm out of the house.
c.) upon entering your bedroom realize that was a stupid thing to do, return downstairs and appologize.
d.) wake up the next morning and apologize immediately for being an ass.

If you answered c or d, you would be correct. Naturally, the immediate realization of your stupidity would be preferable but an early morning response would be appropriate and probably followed by make-up sex.

Okay, so you failed the first quiz. When you return home from work do you:

a.) continue to pretend it never happened.
b.) ignore your wife altogether.
c.) kiss your wife; everything is fine because you called her mid-morning just to say I love you.
d.) enter the house after work carrying roses and a big I’m sorry.

Again, C or D would be an appropriate response. Once again, the early make-up would be best and would probably have been followed by an invitation to come home for “lunch.”