Just Heather

Sep 14, 2009 | Filed Under: Making Connections, My Biz

Because I just don’t have enough to do, I’ve added a few new writing gigs to my weekly schedule. Of course, you already know I share my money-saving tips daily at Inexpensively. I’ve joined forces with a great group of frugal gals to help people live their lives for less—including a few fabulous ladies I’ve had the pleasure of meeting in person.

Now, I’m teaming up with the beautiful ladies at Blissfully Domestic. I’ll be regularly sharing my deals & tips on Financial Bliss. I can’t wait for the chance to meet them at Blissdom in February. (Who else will be there?!) I’ve already contributed a few articles and I’m honored to be a part of the team.

Today was my debut at Mom’s Marbles. I guest posted for these smart gals earlier this year. It is exciting to be joining them regularly for Money-Saving Mondays. At least one of the marbles behind the madness lives just around the corner so I hope we’ll be able to get together soon.

Don’t worry, though—I’ll still be here! You can’t get rid of me that easily. Only now, the blogosphere has even more Just Heather!

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True Mom Confessions

Sep 11, 2009 | Filed Under: Just Because, Sponsored Post

The first time I saw Red Chair Confessions was over at Chic Shopper Chick. Erika was convinced her first confession was about shopping. I mean, she looked good—very high fashion (but I’m absolutely sure it was done on a budget; she looks smart, right?)! By the second video, I was starting to think the same thing—this chick has a serious shopping problem. I hope she lets us in on her great scores soon.

We will finally get the big reveal next week, but until then it’s fun to speculate! And, even more fun to reveal a few confessions of your own. Confessing is good for the soul so here goes…

Confession #1: I shared this dirty little secret yesterday on Twitter. I don’t do it all the time. We all know that rampant misuse and abuse of anything is bad. I try to keep it in its proper place. I only do it when I can find just the right circumstance. I <3 Comic Sans. There, I said it. Confession #2: This one is probably no secret, but admitting you have a problem is the first step. Hi, my name is Heather and I am addicted to Reese’s peanut butter holiday shapes. The eggs are by far the best, but it’s been a long hard 6 months since Easter. I snatched the first bag of pumpkins I could find. Without checking the price! And they are amazing! In fact, I’m thinking about having my next fix right now.

Confession #3: I watch a lot of television. A lot. That probably isn’t a unique confession, but my problem is that I am addicted to the DVR. I don’t watch anything live. Ever. This year, we don’t have cable. It will be interesting to see what place t.v. can play in my life now that I have to pay attention to schedules. I’m used to letting my shows fit into my own schedule and I’m seriously thinking about how to fit my schedule into my favorites. I think Hulu may just be my next addiction.

Okay, your turn! Fess up—what are your true confessions? What do you think the Red Chair mom is confessing?

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36. Watch a meteor shower.

Sep 09, 2009 | Filed Under: 40x40, Love Him

Alternate Title: How a meteor saved my marriage.

Okay, so this Perseid thing comes along every August. I am 32 years old and had never seen it. That’s why it went on 40×40“>the official list. I hadn’t made a specific plan to watch it this year, although having it on my list did put it on my radar. I was paying attention to the dates and the optimal viewing time was middle of the night the evening before Blog Indiana. I didn’t think that was wise.

Then, instead of going to bed early so I’d be well rested for my conference, I stayed up late fighting with my husband. I’ve made no secret of our ongoing struggles. They’ve come to a head in huge blowups a couple of times in the last few years, and this one was bad. As in packing my suitcase bad. Then, I read this and cried. Buckets. But it wasn’t enough to make me go back into the house. Pride, probably. Fear, a lot.

I was standing outside thinking about how many times we’ve had the same fight. Wondering how we could co-parent separately if we couldn’t even co-parent together. Trying to figure out how to make it on my own. Contemplating how you can love someone so very much and still not be able to find a way to live together. Something in the sky caught my eye, but as I’ve never seen a meteor shower I didn’t really know what it would look like or what to expect.

As I was looking up, a huge meteor, as in movie effects huge, streaked across the sky. I was doing it—I was crossing off another one! That’s when the tears started. I wanted to tell someone that I had just moved another step closer to 40×40 and he wasn’t there. I didn’t stop to think; I just tore back into the house with tears streaming down my face to tell him I was watching it and he should go watch it too.

He joined me in the front yard to see the meteor shower, but then he grabbed my hand and tugged me to the backyard for the better view. And never let go. We quietly enjoyed the show for a bit, until Spencer went back into the house for a blanket so we could lie down. We watched for a couple hours, actually, and started talking. I realized our life, our marriage is kind of like that meteor shower.

It has its darkness. It has bright beauty. And just when you think it’s over, something spectacular happens. And, just like Perseid, we’ll be celebrating every August. Our latest Alphabet Dating adventure occurred just a few weeks ago for our 12th anniversary. We’re in this together, for life; we just have a few things to figure out along the way.

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Friday Fragments: My First Free Write

Sep 04, 2009 | Filed Under: Just Because, Making Connections

My friend Liz participates in Friday Fragments hosted by Mrs.4444—it sounds a lot like an old school backlog bulletfest, but I’m giving it a try today. I started out with the intention of random bullet points, but it turned into more of a free write a la Ordinary & Awesome. I’m going with it, partly because I’m too sick to think of anything better and partly because it gives me something to do while I procrastinate the laundry.

We leave today for 3 days in my hometown. I’m part excited, part ambivalent and part dreading it. It will be a tight squeeze at my parents’ house with all the sibs in town, but that’s the part I’m excited about—it’s been awhile since all 4 of us were in town at the same time. There’s a big extended family shindig, though, and I’m not so excited about that. I think there comes a time when you have to realize your extended family is now your siblings, their spouses and children—not the aunts, uncles, cousins and numerous other people you barely recognize anymore. Those are better relegated to a once per year family reunion.
On the other hand, I couldn’t be more excited about the family reunion I’m planning for my other extended family. Maybe that’s because I really haven’t seen some of them in yeas (love you, girl—can’t wait to meet your kids!) or maybe it’s just because I like them better. Or, maybe I like them better because I’m not forced to give up my rare weekends home to spend time with the whole lot every visit. Regardless, the family reunion will be fun and my brother, who claimed he wasn’t coming, is being forced to attend my his wife (loving my SIL more and more each year!).
It is apparently the season for extended family get togethers. In October, we’ll be heading to North Carolina for a weekend wedding. My in-law issues are no secret so I’m sure it is not surprise to anyone that I am dreading this trip. Not only do I have to stay the weekend in my mother-in-law’s town, but I have to spend a fortune for a trip that won’t be the least bit enjoyable. If I’m going to get in a car, drive 8 hours with 3 kids and spend money on a hotel, there should be some semblance of vacation. Instead, we’ll arrive at our hotel just in time for bedtime, spend Saturday dealing with the wedding and—Lord help me—his mother, then spend Sunday at yet another family thing before heading home because Spencer has crappy vacation time.
I dream of a family vacation that I know will never happen. We don’t have the money, we don’t have the time and we don’t have the same goals if we ever crossed those two barriers. I want to see my little girls face light up at Cinderella’s castle before she’s too old to appreciate the magic. I want to see my princess decked out for a dinner inside that same castle. I want to spend some time with my preteen before she’s too cool to enjoy family vacations. I worry the time has already passed us by. Our last vacation was 5 years and 1 kid ago, spent with my family and paid for by my mother. The one before that was split half at Disney and half with my parents at the beach—because it was all we could afford. Never have we taken off, just the 5 of us, and enjoyed even a weekend away.
This free write took a much different turn than I had anticipated and I now sit here in tears. It’s all slipping by me faster than I can enjoy it. We’re always so caught up in getting through the days that there seem to be very few memories to catalog in the scrapbook. Where is the extraordinary for my children to look back on and say “Remember when we…?” Will they understand and appreciate that we gave it all up to pay for their education instead? Or will they resent us for working so hard that they have no summer vacation stories to report on the first day of school?
I don’t regret my decision in the least. There are no other educational options for my girls. The public school isn’t healthy for them, I would not make a good teacher to them and parochial options are just not something we’d consider. They are where they need to be, but the sacrifice is great. We don’t take vacations, we don’t eat out and can barely afford the month date night needed to maintain our marriage. Part of it is a lack of planning. We weren’t so good with money when we first got together and we still pay for our mistakes. We’re learning to budget better, making hard choices about what is and isn’t important and trying to establish some actual financial goals.
I’m also building a business, making an effort to increase our income but spending money along the way. I think we’re doing fabulous things there. It has great potential. It’s just going to take time to build the traffic we need for people to see how truly awesome it is. Time—isn’t that what everything needs? Just a little more time, a little more patience. Patience is not one of my virtues!

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Business Card Giveaway Winner

Sep 02, 2009 | Filed Under: Sponsored Post

The winners of the 500 business cards sponsored by Uprinting are Mamacita and Adrianne! Both have been contacted and will receive an email with their exclusive coupon code from Uprinting. Winners were selected by Random.org. If I’d been choosing on originality, the award would have to go to Scary Mommy for her awesome idea of using business cards as gift tags. She graciously agreed to share her tip on Inexpensively—be sure to check it out, along with a few deals (and another giveaway) on business cards if you need to purchase your own!

Menu Plan Monday

Aug 31, 2009 | Filed Under: Calendar Girl, Picky Eater

I truly believe in the importance of weekly menu planning. It’s the only way to get dinner on the table before bedtime and it keeps us out of the drive thru. However, it always seems to be the first to go when I backslide on any semblance of organization. It definitely went by the wayside during our chaotic summer. I’m determined to get back on track, starting with Menu Plan Monday.

My parents had our children all weekend so Spencer and I could celebrate our 12th anniversary. We spent a chunk of our childfree weekend at the grocery store. Because, really, what’s more romantic than shopping without kids? (Well, pedal boating down the canal, but we did that too!) Our pantry is now stocked, our produce is fresh and we have a variety of meat in the freezer. Meal planning on a week like this is pretty easy, but I’m all about baby steps! By next week, our supplies will have dwindled and the menu will get a bit more creative.

Monday: I have a meeting so this one will be a bit thrown together and/or on Spencer. Had I planned last Monday, I would have been ahead of the game for tonight. I’ll be organized tomorrow next week someday. I hope.

Tuesday: I have a Girl Scout meeting in our home so it needs to be something with easy cleanup. Maybe a pressure cooker roast, potatoes and veggies—only one pot to wash!

Wednesday: Fried Steak, mashed potatoes and green beans.

Thursday: BBQ Chicken, Crash Hot potatoes and sweet corn

Friday: We need something fast before we head out of town for the weekend—I’m thinking a one dish meal with the stew meat we bought. Let’s call it beef stew! I can even toss in any leftover veggies from Tuesday. Bonus!

Saturday: This one is easy. We’ll be at a reception so dinner is done for us.

Sunday: Still out of town with family so we’ll end up with a big lunch and probably leftovers for dinner. Holiday World had also been discussed as a possibility, but not recently so who knows.

Monday: Labor Day – We still haven’t decided when we’re leaving for home. We’ll either leave after hamburgers & hot dogs with my Mom or have to leave early enough to cook them ourselves. It’s kind of a thing. We’ll toss in corn on the cob and baked beans. Probably a last of the season watermelon too.

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All Grown Up

Aug 28, 2009 | Filed Under: Growing Kids

Today was an epiphany surrounded by laundry, wrapped with a 3-year-old in nothing but underwear and a shirt half over her head. “Help me!” was her muffled cry, but as I made my way to her she was suddenly freed of the tangle. Proudly pulling the shirt down over her head, she announced, “I got it! I don’t need you.” My heart broke just a little bit.

I was taken back to the night several years ago when my oldest declared that she was not a baby and did not need to be tucked in. She marched up to bed all on her own. I curled up on my own bed with tears welling in my eyes. My little baby didn’t need me anymore. Gone were the days of cuddles and kisses, Goodnight Moon and the insistence that it wasn’t bedtime until Mommy pulled the covers over her body.

The tears were ready to flow when I heard a tiny voice call out, “Mommy? Can you come tuck me in?” We both went to bed a little more peaceful that night, me knowing my little girl still needed me (just a little bit) and her knowing I would always be there when she did. For her, that will always be true, but isn’t the point of parenting to raise your children so they won’t need you anymore? One day, all three of my girls will grow up and away – needing me less and less as the years go on. My heart will hurt, but it will mean I was successful.

I don’t think it will happen all at once. Slowly they’ll just need me less and less. One by one, they’ll begin to lean on one another or friends. Or a spouse. Until suddenly I’m not the one they think of first when they struggle, and they have to pencil in “call mom” on the calendar. They’ll probably still think of me when they want to cook their childhood favorites and I’m the one with the recipe in her head. I hope I’m first on the list when they want a night away from their own children.

Most of all, though, I hope they always know that even when they no longer need me daily, I’ll always be here when they do.

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Giveaway: U-Printing Business Cards

Aug 26, 2009 | Filed Under: Love It, My Biz, Sponsored Post

I had ordered business cards for my new business from U-Printing for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is their support of the blog community through their blog sponsorship program. I spent about $25 on 1000 business cards and they are fantastic! The design system is easy to use and they have several great template options, including die cut business cards. I love that you can save a design to come back to it later. I saved mine so that I could do a quick edit on the name/title and order additional cards for other members of my team.

Of course, I didn’t save it properly the first time and was surprised to find nothing in my recent design history when I tried to order a second set. I used the live customer service chat and the fabulous rep graciously tracked it down and uploaded it to my account. Never once did she even hint at what an idiot I am for never clicking Save! I ordered my 2nd set of business cards and everything arrived in plenty of time for BlogHer.

It was great to have them on hand as I was meeting people. I still have a stack of cards to go through here and add to my blogroll or twitter feed, but without business cards all the great people I met would have been long forgotten. Instead of struggling to remember their names or frantically jotting down our contact information, we quickly swapped cards and moved on to the next chaotic event.

I also dropped business cards into several fish bowls for giveaways at BlogHer. That was a gold mine for us—MFJ won a $500 Bill Me Later gift card and I won an awesome shopping cart full of Johnson & Johnson products. (While my new shopping cart is going to be the coolest prop and I love it a lot, I’m thinking I got the short end of the stick!)

And now you, my dear readers, have the chance to win something too! U-Printing is giving 2 of my readers a set of 500 business cards. You can design one of three business card sizes for them to print completely free. These are the same quality cards I received with my purchase—they won’t be including their logo anywhere on the final product. Winner will pay shipping, but I do remember that being a reasonable amount.

To enter, simply comment here and share why you need business cards. Are you heading to a blog conference? Launching a new business? Hoping to meet like-minded mamas at the park for a play group? Let me know how you plan to use your new business cards for your chance at one of two prizes. You can earn additional entries by blogging or tweeting about this giveaway (be sure to leave a separate comment with the link to each entry).

The contest runs from August 26th to September 1st at 11:59pm. Two winners will be notified by email on September 2nd (as selected by Random.org) and must reply within 48 hours or a new winner will be chosen. Open only to residents of the U.S. and cards cannot be shipped to PO boxes. Winner will place an order at U-Printing with a custom coupon code, paying only for shipping.

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