Just Heather

Mar 06, 2012 | Filed Under: 40x40, Girls' Night, Party Girl

The 33rd item on my 40×40 list actually reads: Be a bridesmaid. And, I did, but it wasn’t what I thought. It still didn’t satisfy whatever caused me to write in on my list in the first place.

Actually, I’m not sure what possessed me to add that to my list since it wasn’t really anything I could work towards. But, in 2010, my sister invited me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I helped her choose dresses. I answered frantic phone calls. I decorated the church. And, I stood beside my little sister as she spoke her vows to my new brother.

The ceremony was lovely. The reception was super fun. It was all exactly as it should be. And, yet, I still never blogged about crossing that item off my list. Every time I sat down to type it out, nothing came. Until I realized it was never about being a bridesmaid.

It was about having a friend who cherished you enough to ask.

And, it turns out? I’m already there, but it wasn’t a wedding that made me see it. It was walking into a restaurant for a birthday dinner with the hubby and finding out that my Saturday evening was never what I thought it would be.

It was finding a table full of fabulous people who loved me enough to throw an awesome surprise party. It’s friends who get me. Friends who know 35 isn’t easy,with my 40×40 list so far behind the halfway point. Friends who are there for me for fun & laughter or drama & tears.

Friends. I finally have them. In spades.

I have a best friend who would literally do anything for me. I have awesome friends who totally understand me but run with my crazy even when they don’t. I have loving friends who will lend an ear, share a cocktail, and drive me home after one too many.

I have generous friends who will go out their way to be sure I always have what I need — and plenty of stuff I don’t. I have new friends who are already willing to lend a hand at the drop of a hat. I have encouraging friends who not only inspire me to be a better person but work to help me get there. I have fun friends who make me smile when I need it and lend a shoulder when I’d rather cry.

Turns out, having friends is kinda awesome. I am so very blessed to have such amazing people in my life.

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L is for Chicago (Again)

Nov 24, 2010 | Filed Under: Alphabet Dating, Road Trip

When we first started planning our alphabet dating ideas, L was one of the first things we decided on—laser tag. But, when the time came and the opportunity to go to Chicago came up, it didn’t take much to get me to change my mind. There’s always T…

And, I love Chicago.

I also love the hubby, despite his oddities. Or, maybe because of them. I don’t know. Anyway, that kind of became the theme of the weekend—Love Me Anyway. I drug him along to a blogging conference, introduced him to strangers and forced him to be—gasp!—social. He made me sit through a 5 hour geek-a-thon.

Okay, so Paul and Storm were heavily featured, but it was called W00tstock and included serious geekery I didn’t understand in the slightest. I just keep telling him I’m not a real geek. I only speak it, on occasion. But, I did enjoy my weekend.

It’s nice to take a peek at what he’s into now & then. I worried it would reinforce our differences, but we were pretty relaxed about it and just let one another be. That’s truly been our saving grace all along.

He’s always been fabulous about letting me be who I am and do what I need to figure it all out. I need a way to unwind after a long day? He’ll handle a load of laundry while I take a bubble bath. I need to vent with a girlfriend? He’ll put the kids in bed while I have a cosmo with MFJ.

I don’t always get him. I don’t always agree with him. I don’t always want to do the things he does. But, I do always love him and recognize that it’s important to him do these things anyway—with or without me.

We just need to find more ways to be who we are together.

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Not Abandoned, Just Diversified

Mar 28, 2010 | Filed Under: Making Connections, My Biz

I didn’t really mean to abandon my personal blog. It just sort of got shuffled aside as I launched my new site, muddled through various illnesses and struggled with personal drama & everyday life. Over the years, this blog has been many things—an online scrapbook, an outlet for adult conversation or a place to find new friends. Since it’s relaunch, it has morphed into a place to record my personal journey.

And, that’s how I’d like it to stay.

It will be a place to record my progress as I learn to be a grownup. I’ll track my 40×40 list, share our alphabet dating journey and cross off any other Someday lists I come up with along the way. In between, though, I’m finding places for the rest of it. I am now the proud owner of 5—yes, 5—blogs. So far.

Wanna know my thoughts on Mommyhood? Check out my latest project, Miscellaneous Mom. I’m sharing parenting tips, rants, fails and more with a few of my bloggy friends. The name? Based on a quick post I wrote right here, once upon a time. (You know, before Twitter made micro-blogging an actual thing.)

Looking for my money saving expertise? That’s still at Inexpensively, where I’ve joined forces with frugal bloggers across the country to provide advice, bargains and weekly grocery deals. I’m also working with a lot of experts to bring tips on saving money in a variety of categories.

And, don’t worry—I’m still a huge sports fan! I’ve channeled most of that into my new Colts fan blog. Of course, that venture came just in time for the end of the season, but training camp is just 4 months away.

Were you counting? That’s just 4, including this one! I’m getting ready to launch yet another site with MFJ—who is now officially a blogger! In the meantime, you can follow us on Twitter to see why friends don’t let friends drink and tweet!

I’ve got a few other projects in my head, but that’s probably enough for now. I’m already overwhelmed enough to have accidentally abandoned Project 365. I’m sort of failing at the daily photo thing. Although, I am taking more everyday, family life photos. As that was my personal goal for the project, I’d have to call it a success!

Sort of.

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Why I Blog

Mar 03, 2010 | Filed Under: Loving Faith, Making Connections

I’m in the middle of a women’s study on The Mom Factor through my church. As part of tonight’s activities, we were asked to design a mask—one side represented our personal, inside attributes; the other represented our public face. Whoa.

I wrote character words around the outside of mine, colored my public face purple (duh) and used a variety of colors to represent my insides. The mask I wear for the “public” isn’t fake or a contrived persona. It’s just the best part of me—the parts my parents would be proud of. Inside? I’m a big, hot mess. I bill my competitive streak as tenacity. I cover up my confusion with determination. And, I hide my hurt with defiance.

What’s interesting to me, though, is that I’m completely open, honest and transparent here. In our discussion, I think I nailed down the reason. Here, you can only stop reading. And, I’m okay with that. In real life? People have the power to hurt me. Here, I can hide behind my computer and pretend no one reads my words. Out there? In the real world? What if they don’t like me?

So, I blog. I blog about the things I can’t talk about to people in my life. I blog about the things I’m excited about but think no one else will care. I blog about the worst parts of me I wouldn’t admit to my best friend. Because it’s freeing. And, sometimes? I find that people do care. People do relate. And? People still like me. So, I’m working on taking off the mask in real life a little.

If I hadn’t been real, if I weren’t all me with MFJ, we wouldn’t be planning a vacation together right now. If I hadn’t opened up, made myself vulnerable and let Spencer see all of me, we wouldn’t have reconnected the way we did. Yes, even the hubby was kept at a distance—out of fear, mostly. I’ve been letting it go a little, peeking out from behind my mask and thrilled to find that he loves me anyway.

What does your mask look like? What are you hiding from?

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18. Eat a romantic dinner with the hubby at the Melting Pot. (F is for Melting Pot)

Nov 03, 2009 | Filed Under: Alphabet Dating

When we embarked on our first alphabet journey, we selected the Melting Pot as F is for fondue. I chose it specifically because I had put a romantic dinner at the melting pot on my 40×40 list. However, by the time we got to F, romance was nonexistent. It was just not going to be what I wanted it to be, and I tried to convince him to go somewhere else. I believe I suggested Red Robin (F is for French Fries?), but we had a plan and—by, golly—we were sticking to it.

Whether it was self-fulfilling prophecy or I was just right all along will remain a mystery, but our $100 dinner at The Melting Pot was not what I had envisioned when I added it to my list. We were tense, quiet and I was irritated at spending so much money on just another dinner. The setting was nice—they had given us one of the private booths—and the food was good, but the experience only hammered home the fact that we were not a couple. It would be the last of our alphabet dates, and the beginning of the end.

When we started over (both literally and figuratively), the Melting Pot found itself once again listed at letter F. This time, I decided, we were going all out! I wore my little black dress. He wore his pinstripe suit and the fedora! He looked completely delicious and I couldn’t wait to have him to myself over a fondue pot of more delicious. MFJ graciously agreed to spend a quiet evening at home (ours, not hers) supervising a slumber party. The girls were excited, I was thrilled she could do my hair (and loan me the right earrings), then we were off to a late dinner at the Melting Pot.

This time, it was everything I had hoped it would be. The only drawback was we didn’t get a private booth, even though we had actually requested it this time. We were, instead, seated in Lovers’ Lane. It was set off a ways from the open seating area, with high back booths to provide a more secluded dining experience. Regardless, the food was fantastic (especially the Yin Yang Martini), he told me I was beautiful and, most importantly, the love songs in the background meant something.

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Girls Night on the Boys’ Turf

Nov 03, 2009 | Filed Under: Girls' Night, Go Team!, Sponsored Post

Last weekend, MFJ and I had the opportunity to attend the Pacers home opener. I’m a Pacers fan from way back and try to hit at least once game each season. (Yes, even without Reggie Miller.) This, however, was the first time I’d ever gone for a Girls Night. We had so much fun—I don’t know why we’ve never done it before!

You can read a full review of our experience at Eventchaser—with even more pictures, including a dog, a ghost buster, a pig and a penguin. Huge thanks to RazorGator for providing the tickets (front row, balcony level, yo!).

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E Is for Geocaching

Oct 18, 2009 | Filed Under: Alphabet Dating

Babysitters are pretty hard to come by around these parts, but MFJ has volunteered to watch the girls now and then. When we decided we wanted to use E for exploring, her free Sunday afternoon sounded like the perfect opportunity. Spencer had actually looked into geocaching a few years ago, but we didn’t own a GPS system at the time. Then, during last year’s fall camporee, I learned about letterboxing. We decided to explore the trailway in our hometown, which we’d somehow never done before, in search of hidden treasures.

We used his iPhone and the Geocaching application to start our exploration along the Monon Trail. Since this was our first attempt at treasure hunting, we decided to start simple. Or so we thought. We had a heck of a time finding our first cache, until we realized that we’d already found it and added it to our trash collection. We decided to combine our adventure with a small eco-effort and collect litter along the trail. The dog toy didn’t look at all out of place along a trail where residents frequently walk their dogs. It just looked like something accidentally left behind.

Once we figured it out, we added our name to the log and moved to our next target. This one we found a little more easily. It was a small treasure cache, but the contents were soggy. We left behind one of the treasures we had brought along for just this sort of thing, but didn’t find anything dry enough to take. The next time we head out, I’m adding baggies to our packing list so we can update any caches along the way. It was a fun experience, for sure, even though we have a lot of learning to do. This time around, we packed water, snacks, a few treasures for trading and a pen, thinking we were set.

It worked out pretty well for the few hours we were out and about, but next time I’m packing baggies, bandages and a bigger trash bag. All of that is beside the point, though, because we had a really great time together! I’m not usually an outdoor person, but I enjoyed walking hand in hand with my hubby in the fresh air. It was a great daytime date and one we’ll probably repeat. Next time I’d like to go with more puzzle-solving caches, for a fun twist. I think it would also be fun to hide a cache or two. I’ve always had a thing for pirates!

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20. Get a manicure.

Aug 19, 2009 | Filed Under: 40x40, Fashion Disaster

Today’s 40×40 accomplishment brought to you by Wordless Wednesday:

My first manicure...

And the pedicure MFJ talked me into.

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